Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass , they slip away across the universe

As we sit here on the precipice of yet another Commonwealth Cup match up, a series which our beloved Hokies lead 48-37-5, I can't help but wonder two things: 1) why in the hell were five ties allowed (has to be a UVA thing as they encourage ties), and 2) how in the hell did I cut my hand last night? The latter is a pointless query as what's done is done, but the former presents a challenge; most notably getting to 49-37-5. At least we know it won't be 48-37-6 in 12 hours.

I would say the circumstances around this game are shady at best, but after working a very slow news day all day yesterday, I give you shady circumstances: golfer leaves driveway, takes out fire plug then hits tree; wife takes back window of twenty-oh-nine escalade out with seven iron to “save” husband and lays him in the street bleeding from his mouff drifting in and out of consciousness and several cuts on his face. I leave the rest up to you, just saying.....on a long slow shift at work the mind tends to wander and axe questions.

But on to important things. Actually pulling for WVU las night was painful, but it paid off and they took care of bidness. Now we just need Pitt to beat Cincy next weekend and put all this nonsense to bed. Look, that's basically the same Bearcats team your Hokies destroyed in the Orange Bowl last year. Your mediocre Hokies. Destroyed. Man handled. And I still have no clue what a Bearcat is. Apparently neither does Word as it's underlined with a red squiggly. Squiggly, FYI, is not underlined. Just saying. We know Hokie is made up. Bearcat seems as though it's not.

Oh....wait.....fractured or bruised rib...that's fun. Wonder when that happened. Anywho, or should I say Hoo? No I should not. This year's match up--#91--is still a rivalry, but I gotta think UVA doesn't have a grohball's chance in hell of coming away with the W. The Cavs are awful. They've snuck away with a few victories, but overall they are truly, truly horrible. That being said, they do still have a decent squad talent wise and VT has to be careful not to come in overconfident as this game is quite literally all the Hoos have left. I still think Worlids has a second Thanksgiving feast on wahole backs, Tyrod overcomes ho-hum offensive playcalling and the Hokies roll in this one. One can only hope Beamer's boy Fridge is looking for a job in a month and he decides to throw him a bone and gives him a job on the offensive staff. That being play calling. And one has to be careful when throwing Fridge a bone that he does not eat it. BTW, Maryland fans......how's that “we're so much better than you and if you were in the ACC instead of the Big East you would suck” thing working out? Just curious. You may dot your eyes with kleenex now, yes.

Arright, I gotta go tend to my injuries now, but everyone enjoy the game and standby for whatever bowl we get so Beamer can hopefully once again throw around the 10-win season thing, despite the fact it means absolutely nothing and this team has drastically underachieved this year.

Funny what happens to VT when the defense has a young/rebuilding squad.....hmmmm.

OC

At the current time, I'm in the middle of watching Oklahoma virtually dominate Texas, yet they're about to go down 10-6 because they can't freaking score and keep coughing up the ball. I swear, there's been like eight plays reviewed since 3:38 to go in the half and there's still over a minute left. One thing I will say—this is some sloppy ass football between two teams that are supposed to be the class of the Big XII. Texas looks awful and Oklahoma must be having their skill players and d-backs soaking their hands in canola oil between plays. Two separate pick-6es dropped, 17-pt. Swing for Texas as they were only able to muster a single field goal out of both possessions deep in Oklahoma territory. Enough venting about this game, but seriously right now it looks like a Big East showdown.

Speaking of which, not to pile on the Big East again this year as they're not even on the radar, but how awful was that game Thursday night? First BE game I've seen pitting the supposed class of the conference against each other. When Gruden was on saying how exciting it was to see “two of the best teams in the country battle it out,” I was wondering if they had the Florida/LSU game from last weekend playing in the booth. Seriously, how can you say with a straight face Cincinnati is even top-15? Pike is legit, I will say that. But he's hurt now. That fill-in QB from S. Florida looks pretty good, especially for how inexperienced he is. And Selvie is a beast, if a bit undersized (which doesn't matter as much in a MAC knock-off like the BE). Say what you will about the ACC, but the Big East keeping their BCS bid over other mid-majors is a joke. And Florida State, you rub for losing to USF.

Okay, somehow we're now in halftime and OU is still up 6-3. Barn burner. Someone get Bradford a cortisone shot please, this game is not as advertised. 6-3? Feel like I'm watching the ALCS. Which I wouldn't be doing because I don't like beisbol.

On to VT.....I'm sure some will call me a hater, I call me a realist. But I still believe reports of the arrival of our offense have been greatly exaggerated. Couple things here: yes, Ryan Williams is so freaking good there aren't words. Seriously. And the OL continues to play well. Tyrod is looking more than capable, and Stinespring has game planned well and called some good games since Nebraska. All promising signs for this offense and most things we're not used to of late. That being said, one thing we still have yet to see during this “resurgence” stretch—and one thing Stinespring has never excelled at—is in-game adjustments. The last game where that was necessary was Nebraska. Enough said. Totally unable to handle what they brought defensively. Granted, they've got a great defense and an outstanding DL, and their game plan on that side of the ball was perfect. Still, save for that last drive (which word is Tyrod was calling on the field), one miracle throw and a nice scramble/throw on 3^rd and goal, zippy offense and no response to their D. As I said, I'm not hating and I really hope all the positive signs point to good things for VT. I just feel like we see this every season, and eventually it breaks down. Georgia Tech doesn't have a great defense, so it might not be this week. But odds are in order to run the table, at some point someone will have a defensive game plan we'll have to adjust to. Just hope it doesn't bite us, and until such a time I'll be cautiously optimistic that after.....what is it now eight years?......Stinespring finally got this thing figured out.

Alright, gotta go spend some quality time with Suggsy as he's been neglected all morning and I'm heading out soon to watch the game. I think we roll in this one, and said adjustments won't even enter into the picture. Plus, with Tyrod playing the way he has been and GT's pass defense, even if they can contain RyWillie, I don't see scoring being a factor. VT 34 GT 17.

OC

OC

I swear, I've never seen a 9-11 matchup where the #11 team had absolutely NO chance.  This is great, I thought no one was giving us a chance last week, apparently we might as well not even line up tomorrow.  Just give Miami the game, crown them '09 ACC Champs and send them to the national title game.  Jacory Harris has supplanted Tim Tebow as the second coming, without all the volunteering and morality.  They have too much speed.  Apparently Heather Dinich thinks Lane isn't that loud.  And we have no run defense.  Okay, well, agreed on that last point.  At least until now.  One thing I do know: if we have a run defense in us, Bud has been lighting a fire this week that will explode on Saturday.  If not, well maybe we just don't have it this year.

Regardless, I'm not saying we'll win.  What I am saying is it's not that evident from what we've seen to this point in the season that we won't.  Or that Miami is THAT good and back to form.  If national titles were decided after two games, well history would be a lot different, wouldn't it?  I get that ESPN pundits are all about ratings.  I get that a strong Miami team is good for the network.  I get that so far, the 'Canes have looked good.  Just saying, don't count your ibis' before they hatch.

Oh, and one more thing.  I think I'd almost rather see ESPN get rid of Lou Holtz than VT get rid of Stinespring.  Almost.  Both are a joke.

OC

Okay, to get this out of the way yes, I left.  A lot of us left.  In fact, seemed like half the tailgate was back at the tailgate watching the final touchdown on TV.  Yes, Brian Stinespring, this is what it has come to.  I don’t regret my decision.  Let me first state I never…NEVER leave games early.  I just have no faith left, after too many disappointing years, that the offense can get it done.  And I stand by that.  Really, after like five yards of offense in the second half was there reason to believe it would end any other way than a sack on our own 10 on 4^th down?  Plus—as cool as it would have been to have actually stayed in my seat and seen the play—being on the phone with my dad, walking away from Lane discussing how bad the offense performed (sensing the irony?), then hearing the stadium absolutely explode some 200 yards behind me was something I’ll never forget.  Add in of course the subsequent sprint back to the tailgate in time to see the review on TV, everyone on the streets running around screaming like idiots, and the rest is Hokie history (be honest, though, not one of you wasn’t cursing that play call on first and goal after the sack).

It was at my second annual post-Nebraska game appointment with my Diehard-Husker of a dentist yesterday I got some insight on the team’s issues from an outside perspective.  This from a fan who is a wealth of football knowledge at that—appointments are routinely 10-20 minutes longer than need be discussing what’s wrong and what’s right with each other’s programs, who’s looking strong this year, what up with UVa, etc. etc. etc.  Sitting in the chair anxiously awaiting my birthday checkup to begin, he walks in, sits down and says, “So I’ll tell you what’s wrong with Tech.  Two things, offensive and defensive lines.”  Interesting, in that I haven’t heard blame focused on the defense in several years, much less the line.  But then one has to look at the fact that they’ve given up career bests to two running backs out of three games so far.  Apparently game planning to account for and run away from #6 Jason All-Worilds helps tremendously.  Time to get off the defense immediately, as they once again saved our asses on Saturday.  Say what you want about their play between the 20’s, but only yielding five field goals when it counted is pretty damn impressive.  Especially when you consider if only one of those possessions goes in for six, Tyrod’s epic pitch-and-catch with Coales and three plays later Roberts would have been all for naught.  Okay, tell me something I don’t know…on to the offense.  I don’t know that you could say the problem is the line.  A problem, perhaps, but given this is actually a serviceable unit the likes of which we haven’t seen in Blacksburg in some time, they get a break.  Funny how that works, huh?  What I do know of Saturday’s lackluster offensive output is this: without assigning a name or a number, sometimes plays were made, sometimes they were not.  Throws were missed.  Balls were dropped.  Blocking assignments missed.  Whatever the case, this offense is still just not getting it done.  After years of the same, regardless of personnel the blame has to go only one place.  If it’s the line (again), maybe you look at the line coach?  If it’s the QB, maybe you look at the fact that the past two QBs through this system have not only not developed at all, but in some instances actually seem to have regressed?  Any way you slice it, we come back around to (sorry Frankie, I know you don’t like to hear this about your boy BS) coaching.

It was unanimous opinion before the season started this was it.  This was finally the year to stop the excuses.  Stop blaming players.  No more talk of “youth,” or, “we’re just not there yet….a year away.”  Give Nebraska credit, they made some great adjustments.  Something one side of the ball at VT continues to be incapable of, leaving them a step behind once the dance starts.  At the same time, a top program should be able to bob and weave.  Mike Tyson famously once said “Everyone has a plan ‘til they get punched in the mouth.”  Anyone can game plan.  Hell, anyone can even make adjustments.  Thing is those adjustments have to be relevant and effective.  Something sorely lacking from a VT offense of late.  Seriously, how many times are you going to stall a drive where running is working by throwing a deep ball?  Save for the fact that we actually punt the ball on fourth downs, I’d think Stephens was calling in plays via PS2 controller (side note—he used to routinely beat me as the deep ball is actually repeatedly an effective tool in the world of EA Sports NCAA Football).  That last drive was nothing short of amazing, but that was 100% Tyrod.  Vaguely reminiscent of an experienced Bryan Randall circa 2004.  Falling just short in an early-season comeback that year to another red-clad opponent in Lane, Randall seemed to take the team on his back and carried VT the rest of the way to the ACC Championship.  We can only hope that in succeeding in his comeback, something has awakened in Tyrod and for the rest of the season things will be different on-field.  Because we know they won’t be in the booth.

All this being said, and back to my dentist, he said VT was a great atmosphere and some of the best fans he’s been around, which is nice to hear.  Given the disturbing trend I’ve seen the past couple years of young punk Hokie fans who don’t know how to act, I was afraid we were headed down a slippery slope to Mountaineer/Pitt/Terpdom.  But with his endorsement and comments I got from Nebraska fans I talked to in Blacksburg, sounds like there’s nothing to worry about.

On to this week.  A second big game in as many weeks, and both home games to boot.  The Football Gods are smiling upon us.  Have my doubts about this weekend, but at the same time I think the ESPN pundits are putting way too much on this instant comeback of The U.  Just like Notre Dame, Penn State, etc. (insert storied program fallen on hard times here), they’re way too quick to proclaim a return to greatness.  Don’t get me wrong, very well could be a tough game, but I think the jury is still out on Miami and we’ll know a lot more after this week.  I do hope to see instant superstar Jacory Harris get nice and acquainted with the number 6 all day.  Welcome to Blacksburg, newbie!  I also know this—regardless of score I’m not leaving early this week.  I at least owe them that much.

OC

Can anyone tell me why in the hell there's someone in a bear costume holding a stuffed fish -- presumably a salmon -- sitting amongst the Midshipmen?  Just curious.

OC

OC

OC and Suggs

Mere hours away from departing for Boston, less than 12 hours from now I should be sitting in a bar on Boylston Street.  One of the cool things about going to Boston for a game is no matter how great or how crappy the game is, you’re still in Boston for the weekend.  Don’t get me wrong, I think we should win Saturday, just thing we’ve got a stretch coming up here where we could easily drop one or two.  BC, FSU, and Miami, while all down, are all still teams that can beat us.  With all three being road games, I’d be surprised to go 3-3, and extremely happy with 2-3.  That’s just the reality of a still relatively young team playing tough road games.  That and Stinespring still being in place.  It also happens that the state of the ACC is about the BCS conference equivalent of our economy, so a nine-win season should still be attainable even though I’m not sure we’re a top-20 team.

Moving on….it was also nice to see BYU completely tank it last night.  It’s not that I’m a non-BCS hater, just that there are a few programs you can count on to regularly complain about the system, and more often than not they fall on their collective mid-major face.  Now word is Utah actually wants to set up some kind of cemetery outside their stadium and put the names of all BCS schools they defeat on gravestones.  Outstanding idea, Utes.  The reason you’ll find it was easy to get wins is BCS teams generally don’t get excited about playing mid-majors.  The phrase “looking ahead” comes to mind.  Not getting your team logo emblazoned on a gravestone is what they call motivation.  But by all means, proceed with your plans.  I’m sure it’ll work out swimmingly.  And anyway, as Herman Munster said in “My Cousin Vinnie”, what is a Ute?  But I digress from my original point…..the mid-major saveur de la saison (flavor of the season for those of you who have yet to discover Google language tools) has fallen so hopefully we can stop talking about if any of them belong in the title game rather than ranked 10^th if they make it through the season undefeated.  Plus TCU is the Horned Frogs.  That’s almost as cool an animal as a horny toad.  Might even be the same thing, I don’t know.  If not, I gotta give the edge to the horny toad just on principle.

In other news, the World Serious is about to start and hockey has begun…….zzzzzzzz…..wake me when it’s over.  I’m just glad the Sawx pulled off that victory last night.  Didn’t want my scalping price to jump due to all the dejected fans trying  to get last-minute tickets to the BC game for lack of anything better to do Saturday night.  Who are we kidding, this is BC.  I think they actually try not to sell out there.  If they couldn’t even sell out when they were #2 last year, I expect no issues.  Do kinda wish I had picked up an orange jersey for the road trip, but what can you do?  I’ll have to go with the standard maroon, which I’ve worn once and almost sliced my left middle finger off.  Not exactly a good sign.  No worries though, while it’s still not 100%, there’s enough function to communicate effectively with Bostonians.

OC

Not sure how to feel about the game this week.  Obviously I want us to win, but at the same time my dentist is a huge Nebraska fan, and I have an appointment in about a week-and-a-half.  Say we go out there and win.  Or worse, drub the ‘Huskers.  I don’t know that I want someone poking around at my teeth and gums with sharp implements a mere 11 days after a VT victory over Herbie’s Hermits.  But, I’ll suck it up and take one for the team if it means 4-1.

For those of you not versed in the ways of ‘Husker fans, allow me to offer a little insight.  This game will basically be Tech vs. the entire state of Nebraska.  No sh*t, it’s like a freaking religion out there.  When you have a sizeable state with nothing but Cabela’s headquarters and one storied college football program, I suppose it’s inevitable.  I’ve been to a wedding where half the contingent was Nebraska people, and the lasting memory is all of them rolling up to the country club in RVs, opening the doors and walking out all clad in Nebraska starter jackets and sweatshirts.  That’s right…..they even tailgated for a freaking wedding!  Pretty sure the groom’s bowtie/vest scheme was even a Nebraska pattern.  In actuality, though, I’m told they don’t really tailgate for games and most don’t even drink.  This of course elicited the standard “uuughrrrruuuuu??” Scooby Doo response.  My phonetics might be off, but if you’ve ever actually watched Scooby Doo and/or about 25% of all stand-up comics, you feel me.  The comparison was also made to aTm fans, who practiced the same type of abstaining-joyless-pre-game ritual.  I believe in College Station, they called it “bad bull.”  We just called it “bull.”  That being said, if “Huskers are half the hosts the Aggies were, well I’m having second thoughts about not booking my tickets to Lincoln.  Oh, and for possibly future reference, I’m also told Colorado fans are the jerks of the Big XII set.  So, you know, watch out for that one in the event Weaver decides to forego Devry University on subsequent schedules for another real opponent.

In other news, according to this article, the coaches have finally decided to experiment with the spread offense.  Are you onside kicking me?  Look at the QBs we’ve had for the past several years and they just now think this might be a good idea?  They way college football goes, within a few years the spread won’t even be cool anymore….but by THEN we’ll have it mastered!  Good lord, we need some coaching changes.

No predictions on the game this week.  Suggs is taking a hiatus from picking for now, especially since it’s supposed to rain today….whatever that means.  He does note, though, that we’re heading out to the Jaquays compound for the game.  Last year we watched the LSU game out there.  Not only did VT get waxed, but Suggsy wound up injuring both his front paws and I had to carry him out to do his business for several days until I finally realized he’d been fine for at least a day and was just taking advantage.  Fortunately my back stopped hurting like a week later from lugging around 75 lbs. of labrador.  No more playing fetch on the asphalt driveway.

OC

P.S. We’re supposed to spread the word to check out Jason’s blog. Feel free to post a comment.

Having written a couple items in the past week only to be unable to log in and post them, it appears now I can finally get in so here we go for the first post of the season.  Apologies to Suzanne for once again waiting too long to write, but thanks for giving me a pass on week one since I was in Denver.  Moving on…..

While I’m still trying to wrap my head around the loss-that-should-not-have-been, the coaches go and throw out the bombshell that they’re pulling the redshirt off Tyrod.  First of all—wrap my head around is a stupid phrase.  Second—is this really a shock?  We haven’t had a serviceable offensive coordinator in recent memory.  Our only success on offense has come from athletic QBs who can escape pressure and create plays on their own, thus masking the ineptness of said offensive coordinators.  Vick, obviously.  Randall his senior year.  Marcus for the most part.  And last year, Tyrod.  Say what you will about Glennon and yes, he does make more than his share of bad choices and mistakes, but the fact remains most of what you can blame him for is exposing the guy calling the plays (as if a steady decline in offensive ranking wouldn’t be indicator enough for any coach with the exception of Beamer to seek a legit OC).  I mean, if it didn’t happen right in front of me, I’d still probably have a hard time believing he actually ran the option with Glennon.  Wrong #7 under center for that call, Stinespring.  That one is currently in jail.

I said walking away from the game last week (amid yells from ECU fans who surprisingly have no idea how to win) that this was the worst team since the Al Clark era.  Granted, I was still in the haze of post-loss anger, but I don’t know what’s more depressing: the fact that my assessment might quite possibly true, or when I realized the Al Clark era was a decade ago and also my last year in school—the 10-Year isn’t far away.  Worst team is perhaps a bit harsh.  They are after all, very young, and if such thing as a “rebuilding year” exists, this should fit the profile.  But Bud being the only bright spot on the coaching staff, and he having most of the youth and a severe deficit in depth, well how do you feel leaving it in the hands of the offense?  Very similar to the Al Clark era with scoring left to defense and special teams.  The only promise with that correlation is that Bustle was gone soon after.  I don’t foresee anyone coming to steal Stinespring away at the end of the season considering almost every team in Division 1-A had better offensive production last year.

All that being said, at least we’re in full swing for another season.  Win or lose, we have at least 11 games left to watch (I hesitate to say 12 because that would assume we’re going to make a bowl).  And Suggsy’s once again happy since we got the AC fixed and he doesn’t have to walk around the house panting.  So much so he’s able to return to making picks.  He’s sorry for missing week one, but with me being out of town for two weeks prior to the game we couldn’t go through with the ritual.  Besides, he fully admits he didn’t see any indicators to portend a loss to ECU.  Anyway, shocker here but he picks VT over Furman (even though he notes he’s covered with Fur, man…….too much?  Thought so.).  He’s also submitted paperwork to have his name legally changed to Suggsy Ocho Cinco.  You just can’t control them after they reach 4 ½.

OC

Oh, and PS: props to Roddick for blowing the 4th set last night and losing to Dorkovic.  Where have you gone Pete Sampras?  American tennis turns it's lonely eyes to you.....woo woo woo.....woo woo woo.

Seemingly order has been restored to the universe as the ‘eers fell back into line and choked away their national title chances once again.  Seriously, despite what all the clueless voters seem to think about the toughness of that league, if you can’t get through the Big East undefeated much less with one loss (which was all that seemed necessary this year), you really never deserved a shot.  As for Missouri, still reeling from the sting of dropping their second game this season to Oklahoma and missing out on a Big XII title, they get a BCS snub dropped on them.  That’s gotta suck.  Every year there are teams thinking they got shafted, short-changed, etc. etc. etc.  Look, bottom line is this: Georgia should just shut the hell up.  You didn’t even play for your conference championship.  I don’t care if there’s no rule against it—you don’t deserve a shot at the National Championship if you can’t even get into the game to play for the SEC title.  Missouri on the other hand does have a legitimate case and should feel slighted.  Most importantly, for the however-manyeth year, the system is flawed.  I suppose yes, Ohio State only lost one game.  But how bad was the Big Eleven this year?  Fielding a team slower and not as talented as the one that got destroyed by Florida last year shouldn’t leave much hope for success this time around.  Not to mention besides the luckeyes getting a second shot at a title in as many years, they put a 9-3 Illinois team in the Rose Bowl?  Enough about that for now, we’re at least back in a BCS game so let the teams that just missed out worry about the aftermath of Selection Sunday.

Isn’t redemption sweet?  As much as I would have liked a bit more of a dominating performance against the Eagles, a win is a win and a win works for me.  And it’s good to see Glennon get MVP of the game.  In what can only be described in cliché form as a rollercoaster of a season for Sean, a strong finish down the stretch should leave at least a glimmer of hope for the offense next season with the two-headed QB monster.

So, now we have a few weeks off before the bowl games start, and another week beyond that before any bowl games worth watching start.  In the meantime, here’s some things I’d like to see next year: ESPN get more than a handful of college football analysts that have a freaking clue; voters refraining from vaulting every Big East team into the top five when they knock off another “top five” Big East team, even though most of these “powers” wound up around or just out of the top 25 (still overrated) or not even bowl eligible; no more Lou Holtz pep talks (seriously, obviously the guy’s coaching resume speaks for itself, but how dumb and uninspired were those things?  Judging by that segment, he couldn’t inspire Rosie O’Donnell to make out with a hot chick then eat a cheesecake); Notre Dame winning only two games; WVU winning only three; algroh losing his fourth in a row to VT (congrats on the contract extension, al—way to have a mediocre season, here’s your biscuit); Erin Andrews actually accepting my invitation to dinner when I yell to her from the stands.

All for now.  Stay tuned in the coming weeks for Suggsy’s full picks of the BCS slate.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

I am pleased to announce the beta release of the Blog RSS feed.  Please add http://www.tailgatefever.com/rss/tailgatefever_blogs.xml to your aggregator.

Webman

A guest blog from retired Collegiate Times column writer of "She Said"..

"Heck no, I'm not going to that den of inequity….” That was my friend’s grandmother’s response when I asked her if I'd be seeing her in Charlottesville over Thanksgiving for not only the in state Virginia rivalry, but the ACC Championship contender determining game. She rarely misses a Virginia Tech game be it home or away, so she must really loathe UVA.
I was born and raised in Harrisonburg, Virginia, a mere 45 minute drive over the mountain from Charlottesville; however, the only time I'd been was to go to the mall or the hospital. Throughout my childhood Charlottesville horded all the good stores and doctors; the small town was like a big city to me growing up. But I'd never been to Scott Stadium. I'd heard stories of snotty nerds and how their girls dress up for the games, but I never pay any mind to what other people say as I am one to always form my own judgment. And I'll let you judge as you wish, I'll just tell you my experience of going to the alleged den of inequity.

As we slowly drove through Charlottesville we saw a sea of orange mixed in with some maroon and blue. Why would they have an "Orange Crush" on a game day with a team that also sports orange? Just saying....

And although it was a few degrees above freezing and about 20 degrees below comfortable, there were in fact some hos, excuse me, hoos in short dresses. While searching for "Special Lot K" we passed an array of small parking spaces. The tailgating was segregated into several tiny lots with tiny crowds of tailgaters... where was the truck with a big screen in the back? The portable grill, bars, beer pong tables, and buffets of food? The cruising van made to look like the lunch pail defense? Something tailgate-ish….anything?
And there was barely anyone walking with a drink in their hand, but there were a lot of Hokies walking towards the stadium chanting "Let's Go...... HOKIES!" Note: Hokies are loud!
While I was waiting in line for the porty- potty, which by the way was so disgusting it made a porta- potty at a NASCAR race feel clean, I met a fellow Hokie with a frown on his face. He said a UVA fan wouldn't sell him a ticket for $125 because he had a VT jersey on.

On the way to the stadium we walked through the campus which reminded me of a field trip to a historic old president's house or something.  Upon entering the stadium I was warned that I was sitting in a friend of a friend's seats whom works for UVA and I need to be respectful of that as I'll be sitting amongst alumni. I said well then we might as well wait until after the Hokies run out before we sit down. They didn't play Enter Sandman at Scott Stadium, but I jumped up and down like they did anyway.  Although the stadium only seats approximately five thousand less than Lane Stadium, it looked as though Lane was cut in half. And I'm not just saying that because I'm partial, a part of the stadium was more like a grassy knoll. Was it a concert or a football game? Meanwhile the one jumbotron was anything but jumbo, it was like a small screen television and in between periods they played clips of the local newscast equip with game highlights.

Their traditions confused me a little bit, especially their touchdown celebration.  All the Hoos wrap their arms over each others shoulders and start swaying like a bunch of Girl Scouts on a camping trip singing Kumbyya.

During a quarter break Tiki Barber's jersey was retired, and the row in front of us got a little louder obviously cheering for their old teammate. It was a plethora of what I'm assuming to be former players, perhaps some defensive linemen and some running backs. And behind us was a Hokie who's voice projected as loud as the band. I respect all Hokies, and Hoos for that matter, but this one wasn't showing Hokie respect. He was probably a freshman or something that doesn't get that an away game does not imply the same home game techniques. Especially not in the team alumni section. And they were worried about lil ol’ me cheering too louly? He was shouting curse words while a mini Hoo was sitting directly next to him and he kept shouting "Let's Go" only to be responded to with a mix of "Hokies" and "Hoos." After the Hokies let it be known to the Hoos that we were not going to let him win the game thus not play in the ACC Championship game, the Hoos started getting a little cranky, and quiet. Therefore, the Hokie behind us got even louder. On one play one of the former players turned around, and screamed over my head, "Sit your ass down, I have been listening to you all game. SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" We didn't hear a peep out of him the rest of the game. And every time the Hokies did something to cheer about (which was quite often) I would quietly turn around and give him a thumbs up and a smile because I felt so bad for him. Meanwhile there was a house divided next to us, a Hokie bride and a Hoo groom. I kept high-fiving her and it made her husband so testy he said something rude to me, which garnered a snappy response from my friend. I felt bad for her, having to go home and put up with his bad mood. I however was in one hell of a good mood, and I will be again when we beat BC this weekend and go bowling with oranges.

Odd pick this week.  Well perhaps not odd, but seemingly there was some thought put into this one.  Upon the toss, the VT ball ricocheted off a guitar case and went a completely different direction than the BC ball.  He changed course after the VT ball, then went over to the BC ball, sniffed it, and headed back over to the VT ball which he wound up choosing.  Take from that what you will.  Could be VT in the early-going, BC comes back but VT pulls it out in the end.  Or, it could just be that this picking system revolves around a 4-year-old black lab who loves tennis balls picking games based on retrieving two tennis balls and there’s really no science involved whatsoever.  I’d probably tend to lean toward the latter, but at any rate, there you have Suggsy’s final pick before the bowl game.  Almost backing up my theory about the relevance of these picks on cue, I'm pretty sure he just ate a cricket or bug of some sort in the next room.  Nice work.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

Not overly impressed with the W on Saturday, but I suppose a win, as they say, is a win.  Don't get me wrong, the team looked good, just wish we could have throttled them even more than we did.  At any rate, nothing makes a victory over your rival sweeter than when said rival turns around and picks up option on inept coach through 2011.  By my calculations, that means VT shall own UVa for at least........four more years.  Congrats incoming wahole freshmen.  You have signed on for a college career of being a distant #2 in state.  Although you may get lucky and be on one of the teams that pulls out that once-every-five-or-six year victory.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

It's a little disheartening when you get up this early to go anywhere and the outside temperature reads a balmy 29 degrees.  Oh, well, groh's gladiators are never gonna know what hit 'em.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

As much as I really love having to be into work by 2:30 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving, I’d really rather be sleeping.  At least there’s a decent game to watch—the rerun of USC/Arizona State.  That or I could watch ESPN 2 with that stupid Madden Challenge show, whatever it’s called.  Seriously, what the hell is ESPN doing?  I know we’ve covered this before, but this programming goes beyond questionable.  Whatever producer pitched the idea for this show should not only be canned, but also flogged on the way out the door.  “Hey, guys, I’ve got a great idea for a show.  Let’s get a big bus, drive it all around the country picking up the top-ranked Madden players and have a tournament!  We can get Best Buy as a sponsor!  It’ll be AWESOME!!”  Nothing quite says, “I very much enjoy living in my parents basement,” like being one of the top Madden players in the country.  I mean, I like video games as much as the next guy, but if I ever aspire to being ranked in something that can be done while sitting on your couch in your boxers eating Doritos and drinking Jolt, well then it’s just time to quit.  How does one go about getting a video game ranking, anyway?  And what’s up with the trash talking?  Getting in someone’s face because you just kicked a field goal?  Really?  I’ve never been a huge fan of trash talking as it is, but if whatever you just accomplished didn’t require anything more than moving your thumbs, you should probably just sit tight and shut the hell up there, Sport.  I was thinking ESPN is dangerously close to becoming the new MTV (apparently somewhere around 15 years in, video killed the video star, as well), but now I’m pretty sure they’re already there.  The deuce is an appropriate name for ESPN 2, since that’s what roughly 95% of their programming equates to.

On to relevant things.  Heading to hooville tomorrow for a day tripper game.  I really hope it isn’t a close game, but you never know with those pesky waholes.  Last time I went to that cool-forsaken place was 2003, so no fond memories.  A horrible disappointing collapse of a season coming to a fitting regular-season end with a horrible disappointing collapse against this.  Didn’t help that a male (I think….you can’t really tell with them) UVa guy tried to pick a fight with one of the females in our group.  Then, that’s fitting, I suppose.  Besides, he was probably just cranky his tailgate ran out of shiraz or something.

In other news, why the hell did the Colts and Falcons play last night?  Lions and Cowboys only.  Get it right next year.  You start saying Lions and Cowboys and Falcons, people start thinking Wizard of Oz.  Might as well go full-on hackneyed and throw in an, “Oh, my!”

Random thought of the morning (as though the rest of this fits together so well): so, I brought a banana into work today.  When I left the house, the top was still a little green.  Now, barely three hours later, the thing looks like it is unfit even for banana bread.  Why do they even bother selling these things in bunches?  Even a gorilla couldn't eat eight of them between the time they ripen and the time they go bad.  Although I suppose gorillas don't care if they're ripe or rotten, either, but that's beside the point.

Roughly 26 hours to departure.  As much as I’ll miss tailgating for the next nine months or so, really not looking forward to being surrounded by more toolboxes than a Home Depot employee.  If you’ve never been, do yourself a favor and check it out sometime.  Beautiful place, Charlottesville, but as soon as you get anywhere near campus, you can just sense the douchebaggery.  It’s electric.  Inasmuch as douchebaggery can be electric.  At any rate, no reason this should be a game.  They’ve got Chris Long.  We’ve got a defense.  Vince and X don’t take kindly to douchebaggery.  Our corners put QBs out of games.  Enough said.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Checking in from Reston for the final regular season edition of Suggsy's pick.  Third week in a row, Suggsy only picked one ball.  Second week in a row, he picked the VT ball.  It should also be noted that post-pick, we kept throwing the ball in the yard for a bit, and he wouldn't have anything to with the UVa ball.  Good boy.  Might even get some turkey later.

Happy Hokie Day, everyone!

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Couple preliminary thoughts on this past weekend.  First, it’s nice to see that the students don’t feel the need to rush the field EVERY time we beat an unranked opponent.  I was honestly worried there for a minute late in the fourth.  Second, it’s nice to see that the offense still seems to be clicking.  Third, it’s nice to have finally accepted the fact that we’re old and for the second week in a row spend our post game Saturday night at the much quieter, more subdued Hokie House than the jam-packed loud madness also known as TOTS.  That is, when we weren’t at Mike’s housing three large pizzas.  I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who participated in the 12:00 a.m. sharp text message barrage for my sister’s birthday—you know who you are.  If you ever have the chance to get a dozen or so people simultaneously and unexpectedly text someone “Happy Birthday, Jerky,” seize the opportunity.  Apparently it goes over well.  Free birthday presents rock.

One other advantage to Hokie House: proximity to Taco Bell.  Actually, not sure if that’s an advantage or not.  I’m also not quite sure why Jaquays and I felt the need—again for the second week in a row—to make a run for the border after leaving the bar, given the aforementioned housed pizzas at Mike’s.  Might have had something to do with the fact that we ran into Suzanne again.  Whatever the case, following FSU and Miami, this much is clear: four things that go together in Blacksburg are beating Florida teams, Hokie House, Taco Bell, and encountering Suzanne.  Oh, and shots.  I’m 30 now, why do we still do shots?  Pointless, those things.

Suggsy is happy he finally got back in the W column.  Then, I suppose he’s pretty much always happy given that he’s a lab, but he’s had an extra spring in his step this week.  Heading into the final regular season game against the Hooville Express, things finally seem to have completely come together for this team.  Looking at things as they were at the beginning of the year, just about a complete 180 in my opinion.  The defense has returned to dominating form (you knew that would happen—can you imagine what we’d do to ECU now?); the offensive line is not only playing better, but is really playing well; Tyrod continues to shine, and in both his absence and in the new two-headed QB monster, Glennon looks like a different player from the 2006 and early 2007 Sean we all knew.  The rushing game still leaves something to be desired, but it’s enough to get by, and who would have ever thought a VT offense would lean more on the passing game?  Though I’d still like to see more Cheeseman, and not just because of the name.

Nooner kickoff this week which kinda rubs, but I suppose with away games earlier is always better.  Aside from the fact that our daytrip to harlottesville will have to start with the sunrise.  12 p.m. means those crazy Cavs have less time to load up on wine and gouda pre-kickoff, so they won’t be as fired up.  Then, is that really ever a problem?  I wonder what they’re going to steal from the VT fanbase this year?  Perhaps they’ll sneak onto their own field and paint a “T” after the “V.”

That’s all for now.  Back later with Suggsy’s Thanksgiving Special Year-End Spectacular Pick’em.  I’m a little worried he might choose the pinot-soaked HooVa ball, but standby for the results.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Suggsy picked VT.  All there really is to say about that.  Hopefully his string of wrong picks is reversed.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

...few quick notes here.  First off, great win for the program.  Granted, FSU is down this year, etc. etc., yada yada.  Regardless, good to finally get that Seminole monkey off the back.  It was even enjoyable doing that dumb Seminole Chop thing at their team near the end of the game.  Second, what’s wrong with the kids these days?  Who rushes the field when you beat an unranked opponent?  That’s like celebrating touchdowns against Duke.  You expect it.  You should be upset if it doesn’t happen.  But for the love of all creatures big and small, you don’t rush the freaking field.  I swear, if people try to get past us to storm the field after the Miami game this week (assuming we pull out the W), I’m gonna start clotheslining and not stop until the flow of traffic reverses back up the stairs.  Seriously, we’ve reached the point now where top-five and above, that’s probably acceptable.  Anything else just makes us look like amateurs.  Third, there’s something really satisfying about having on overalls with no shirt in what must have been sub-40 temperatures and being able to taunt the winter coat-clad-FSU players huddled around the heater right in front of our section.  Anytime you can get the punter to walk away shaking his head without even attempting a practice punt, that’s a small moral victory.  And the fact that you’re wearing a Wendy’s wig, well that only sweetens the deal.

Aside from that bit of business, again, great win.  Definitely one of my favorite games ever in Lane.  And as much as I hate the platooning quarterbacks, if this can work as it seems to have for the four series or so we tried it (before Glennon got rocked), then why not.  Speaking of Glennon, it was odd reading his comments about how he felt immediately after the hit that sent him out.  Saying that he doesn’t really remember it, or much after that, then all of a sudden sometime in the second half he remembers being on the bench and someone talking to him, and he was pretty much fine from then on.  Welcome to how I experience Hokie games, Sean.  Except the part that’s hazy usually starts hours before the game, and the part where I come to and start remembering things again is generally anywhere between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. on Sunday.  Good times, no?

All for now.  Back soon with Suggsy’s pick, despite the fact that guy is on thinner ice with his picks than Stiney is with his coordinating (moving in the right direction, though).

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

I really wish I wasn’t this nervous for Saturday’s game.  I haven’t had a good feeling about it all week, but I didn’t realize just how bad it was until I was reading the column just now and noticed in the middle of it that I had butterflies in my stomach.  Part of that also might have been when I read about the weather and realized I’m committed to wearing overalls and little else to the game.  But, if the past has taught us anything, it’s that going shirtless to November games really isn’t that big of a deal so long as you stock up on plenty of Jim Beam at the tailgate.  And by stock up, I mean drink.  And by plenty I mean Jaquays and I are probably going to want to split a handle and empty it by the time we depart for the game.  26 degrees?  We can only hope that the high of 51 holds out as long as it can once the sun goes down.  Which, mind you, could very easily be by the second half.  If the overalls don’t get on TV for this one, I’ll be pissed.  They got rained out at BC (which was a great game-time decision, I might add), but really I think this game is bigger, anyway.  More deserving of a gig like the overalls.  BC hasn’t earned the overalls yet.  The northeast liberal elite probably wouldn’t understand them, anyway.

And did I actually hear an ESPN analyst (forgot who, probably Mark “Big East is to Me what Notre Dame is to Coach” May) say that WVU proved they’re a legitimate national title contender because of their improved defense?  How does letting Louisville hang 31 on you equate good defense?  Seriously, a .500 team and they give up 31.  NC State, Pittsburgh, UConn and Cincy all held them to less.  And pretty close were Syracuse, Utah and Kentucky.  The only thing the Mousketeers proved last night is that they do a great impression of mustard.  Really, who’s in wardrobe over there?  Not that hillbillies are known for their fashion sense, but after this one, people will probably stop talking about Oregon’s infamous highlighter unis.  People can say what they want about orange, but I actually like having that as a secondary color.  Yellow just looks dumb.  Like a crowd full of DeWalt sales reps.  Alright, enough about uniforms.  Don’t want this to freaking turn into “Mr. Blackwell on Football.”  Louisville has zippy defense, as well.  Ditto the rest of the Big East.  Hey, rest of West Virginia’s schedule, here’s a tip: they’re gonna run it.  They basically have three plays.  Put a spy on White, defend the run, and make him pass it on you.  What?  You say you don’t have the personnel to match up because you’re the Big East and all your teams suck?  Yeah, we know.  But what can you do?  How great would it be if Connecticut somehow pulls this off and they’re the Big East rep in the BCS?  That paired with Picksburgh losing to almighty Utah back in 2004 ought to shut up more than one BE apologist.  Also PK would be happy, as 1/25^th of The UConn Supremacy theory would have come to fruition.

In non-football news, apparently my network is "going green" this week with the whole NBC "Green is Universal" crap.  How awkward is it on every NBC show where they've tried to fit in environmentally friendly themes?  My guess is THAT is really what caused the writer's strike.  Honestly, Janitor becoming eco-friendly on Scrubs?  And just curious here, but where exactly does Ann Curry making four round-trip flights to the south pole before she could finally land there fit in?  Was that plane a hybrid?  Oh, the hypocrisy is agonizing.  Well, I gotta get out of here.  Six hours to departure.  I need to go pick up some sports memorabilia for O.J. before I head out.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Hopefully this is not a harbinger of things to come Saturday.  As per the usual ritual, both a VT ball and FSU ball were thrown, and Suggs didn't even bring the VT ball back.  I have tried to think of any way possible this could mean he's picking Tech, but best I can figure he's picking Florida St. big.  Oh, well, he's been off, so we've got that going for us.  Or he could just be punishing me for the Batman Halloween costume.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Skip Bayless has to be one of the biggest idiots on ESPN.  And that’s saying a lot.  First of all, why is Jesse Palmer still employed as a college football analyst?  He and Rachel Nichols must be pooling whatever dirt they have on the ABC/Disney brass.  Second, why is Skipper the one doing segments with him?  This meeting of the minds is about the most pointless thing on any edition of SportsCenter unlucky enough to feature it.  I think I’d rather buy the first season of “Who’s Now?” on DVD than watch these two discuss college football.  I hope those non-CFB-nuts watching don’t think these clowns actually have any clue what they’re talking about.  Palmer makes so many ludicrous claims and statements that sometimes I think he’s saying things just to see if anyone’s watching, and I’m convinced Bayless’ job description is: “Say outrageous things at every opportunity and always argue the counter-point to whomever you’re on air with, regardless of how ridiculous it makes you look.”  I swear, if someone came out and said Adrian Peterson is the rookie of the year shoe-in, Skip would probably say they’re crazy.  Channels are changing, ESPN.  Okay, they’re probably not, but these two still suck royal.  More Herbie, less Bud Hot Seat featuring Dumb and Dumberer.  I’d even take MayDay and Coach Holtz over them.  At least Rece Davis is present to call those two out.  That and you really can’t even understand Lou anymore.  All you need to know is he’s picking Notre Dame this week.

Before I go, a side note to the Domino Sugar people—what the hell is up with brown sugar?  A one-pound box?  Really?  Seems to me I never need more than, like, a quarter-cup at a time.  Then the next time I go to use it—could be as little as a week later—the contents have transformed into a 1-lb.-minus-1/4 cup brick that could crack bullet-proof glass.  One shouldn’t need a masonry chisel to make more barbecue sauce.  I suppose there’s not a lot of funding available to develop a brown sugar that doesn’t stick to itself, but the cereal people solved their brick problem back in the early 20^th century (History Channel watchers know what I’m talking about), so consult with Kellogg’s.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

What the hell is the deal with this new show E:60?  It’s like ESPN said, “Hey, let’s take all the correspondents on our network that suck, throw in a few no one has ever heard of, bake at 350 degrees, and serve crappy.”  The network is taking a dive, fast.  Rome, PTI, and SportsCenter are the only watchable things left.  And even parts of SportsCenter are questionable.  Especially the ESPN Deportes cut-ins.  Why don’t they just call it like it is and label that segment “Soccer Highlights”?  I’d rather watch JoePa dance at a pep rally than soccer.  Is Posh Spice’s husband still playing over here?  More importantly, who cares?

On to important stuff.  FSU this weekend.  Still don’t have a good feeling about this one.  Of course, I had the same feeling before Clemson, so we’ll see.  Fact is, no matter how bad the ‘noles ever seem, they’re still always the ‘noles.  And, Bobby still owns Frank until further notice.  And, they’re really not that bad.  A few stumbles throughout the season, but they only have three losses, 2/3 of those to teams with only two losses.  Granted, both of those were teams from the Atlantic, a.k.a. the ACC’s version of the Big XII Norse.  Which is both conferences version of the Big East (more on the best conference in the nation later).  Regardless of the outcome of the game, I’ll consider it a slight victory if we can get any kind of response from Bobby in Section 5.  Looks like Tyrod should be ready to go, but there’s yet to be a decision as to the starter.  Bottom line as mentioned before is, Glennon has put up some decent numbers over this sans-Taylor stretch, but his mistakes and decision making are the kind of things that can and likely will cost you against a team like FSU.  We shall see.  Eddie being out doesn’t help, mainly on punts but an extra receiver never hurts (especially a badass).  Adibi is supposedly hobbled by an ankle injury, but as long as he plays all that does is bring him down to “Better than most other linebackers” status.  Ostensibly, this is a game (stop me if you’ve heard this with respect to Virginia Tech vs. The Tallahassee Titans before) we should win, but especially after what they did in Chestnut Hill last weekend, it’s probably going to be hard-fought.  The fact that the sun will start going down within about an hour of kickoff should help, as Lane changes after dark.  Kinda like a werewolf.  Or a vampire.  No, they don’t change, they’re just not allowed out before sundown.  Hmm….make a note Weaver.  VT kickoffs should be more like vampires.  Although werewolves are alright, too, I suppose.  Silver bullets are harder to track down than wooden stakes.  That is, of Coors, unless you’re speaking in beer terms.  Where was I before that incredibly inconsequential tangent?  Lost my train of thought…..oh well, on to other things.

Pre-weekend, there are several unimportant games if you can’t wait for Saturday’s action.  Two MAC teams we’ve played are on tonight.  Eh.  Thursday night pits #7 WVU against #something What-in-the-Sam-hill-happened-to-us Louisville.  The game is in Organtown, which not only means the Cardinals’ players lives are in peril, but also L’ville fans who make the trip will have to forego the Papa John’s concessions they’re used to for the more familiar Mountaineer favorites of roadkill and things shot with a muzzle-loader.  And coke, too, I think they serve coke.  If the thought of watching Big East football nauseates you, LT II and Jim McMahon would be pleased if you tune in to TCU at BYU starting at 9 p.m.  By that point, WVU should have the game well in hand, and their fans will probably be acting like out of control rednecks, solidifying their place as worst fans in the country.  Who am I kidding, that’ll be secured by two-hours to kickoff.  Well, really, it’s been solidified for years now.  Friday, a team we play in one of Weaver’s “Equity conference opponent” matchups over the next few years—Bowling Green—takes on one of the few Michigan directional schools I’m pretty sure we haven’t played, that of the Eastern variety.  Then national power Rutgers takes on Army in the 8:00 game.  It’s more excitement than I can bear.  If anyone needs me, I’ll be parked on a barstool at Rivermill starting around 5.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

It’s often said with regard to sports that winning takes care of everything.  I’ve never been a big fan of that phrase, as I think it reflects complacency with the status quo and usually is sure to be followed by more losing ahead.  Following that hard-to-take loss against BC, the team came out last Thursday and had a much needed big win at Georgia Tech.  A mediocre GT team, to be sure, but a dominating performance nonetheless.  And so it would seem, at least for now, winning has taken care off everything in Hokietown.  Well my friends, that’s a sure-fire way to go into Saturday’s matchup and drop another one to Bobby.  See, winning doesn’t always take care of everything, and more often than not it can mask problems.  It would be easy to look at last week’s game on the surface, 24-point victory, good numbers for Glennon, running game finally got going (kind of) etc. etc.  The offensive line is looking a lot better, which is a bright spot.  But the playcalling and overall offensive coordination remains pretty much the suck.  With six turnovers, I’d generally expect more than 27 points.  1:6 turnover ratio against an inferior opponent should lead to a blowout.  The only reason this was even so lopsided is because the defense came out firing on all cylinders.  Shocker, once again Bud gets it done, shutting up every one of his detractors from the week prior.  Way to give ‘em hell, Bud.  Glennon, despite the completion percentage and yards, remains a good backup but not the solution.  And with the rushing game, Ore is looking better but still not up to the level of last year.  Where did Jahre Cheeseman come from, speaking of running backs?  I know it was late in the game, but seemingly GT still had some starters in.  The guy not only has possibly one of the best Hokie names of all time, but looked pretty good on six carries.

Okay, enough about that.  With us and UVa atop the Coastal having one conference loss apiece, we more or less control our own destiny as far as getting a second ticket to Jacksonville in three years.  Winning both of the next two then crushing the waholes in Harlottesville would be nice, but in reality we could drop either the FSU or Miami game (the former being much more likely), then win post-Thanksgiving and still take the division.  Here’s the best part about all of this: UVa absolutely sucks.  Look, it’s a rivalry game, so even if they had Notre Dame’s record I wouldn’t go into it thinking of them as a pushover, but they’re a really bad two-loss team.  I’m not going to say one of the worst, as I think a couple of Big East teams might be out there with two losses, but they’re awful.  Howie Long’s kid is a freaking monster.  That’s the only good thing I can say about them.  They lost to Wyoming, barely beat UNC, GT, Middle Tennessee, UConn, Maryland, NC St., and Wake.  That’s seven wins over seven bad-to-abysmal teams by a grand total of 17 points.  Including two five-pointers.  Wow.  Even dook only lost to them by 11 on the road.  Plus, they’re still coached by algroh, who as we all know is A) overpaid, B) a bad coach, and C) a tremendous douchebag.  Wait, that just triggered spell check.  Is douche bag two words?  Apparently so, because that time it got thorough.  Okay, so he’s a tremendous douche bag.  As much as we can get on our coaches, we still have to remember in the tough times following losses like BC, that at least we’re not stuck with that guy.  As mad as I’ve ever been following a loss, I’m pretty sure a coach like that could make me actually hate the Hokies.  Just during his tenure, but hate them all the same.  Speaking of bad coaches, Charlie blew the game against Navy by not kicking a late field goal, instead attempting to convert a 4^th and 8.  Good one by an offensive genius.  Is there even a play for 4^th and 8 from about the 24?  I think it’s called a field goal.  If a school like ND doesn’t have a kicker that you believe in from 41 yards, I suppose their problems go even deeper than we thought.  Well, I should probably get back to work now, but we’ll be back later in the week with Suggsy’s prediction for the game.  I’d say hopefully he believes in us this week, but after his past few weeks I’d really rather he pick Florida St.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Well, it’s 8:30, I just got back from playing tennis to avoid trick-or-treaters, but I think I’ve got another ½ hour to kill so I’ll just sit in the basement with the lights off until 9.  That should do it.  At any rate, I’ve had many thoughts about the game since this past Thursday as I’m sure we all have, I just haven’t gotten around to writing any of them down.  I’ll make this brief so I can get back upstairs in time for Criminal Minds at 9.  And if any kids come by after that, they get a whole bag of candy since I have all of the stuff I bought left.  Otherwise Suggsy gets a month of Milk Bones wrapped in Twizzlers.  So, the game, right.  First off, I’ve said it since we were walking out of the stadium after the game–I don’t want to hear one word of blame placed on the defense.  For one, Bud swears up and down he didn’t change the game plan those final minutes as everyone thinks, and I believe him.  Granted, he’s one of my favorite people ever associated with the program, but it’s not bias.  I haven’t watched the game on a TV, and being there in person you kinda get lost in the moment, but from several accounts we really weren’t bringing any more than four rushers all night, sometimes three.  Down the stretch there, they just lost contain on a couple plays, which in most circumstances will kill you.  Against Matt Ryan, it’s a given it will.  Give even halfway decent receivers an extra second or two, they’re going to get open eventually no matter how good your coverage.  And if they have a good, much less great QB, give him an extra half-second and he’s going to find them.  Plus, when they’ve had a physically and emotionally draining game like that, they’ve got to be exhausted by that point.  Which brings me to point #2: if our offense could have killed a little more clock, kept the defense off the field, they probably wouldn’t have been so tired.  I’m not going to say anything about players, but the freaking playcalling was questionable at best.  And questionable is being VERY generous.  How many more years of this are we going to go through?  A program like ours should be able to get a pretty good offensive coordinator in the least, if not pull in a top candidate in any given year.  Take a look at any other profession.  If your numbers in your job started out mediocre, then fell every year (except one blip) to abysmal, you wouldn’t last two or three years, much less, what has it been now, seven?  This has gone on six years too long.  Cut the cord, Beamer.  Well, gotta run now, but that’s all I’ve got anyway.  Lost my train of thought because Suggs is spinning in circles in the next room.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

Not too happy after the result of last week’s game, especially given that he didn’t get to pick it (he’s very superstitious), Suggs just reluctantly picked tomorrow night’s game.  Unfortunately, hosehead picked GT.  I think he’s still thrown off from that comeback last Thursday.  And it should be noted the week before when we were off, he was 0-2.  Plus I had just come back from tennis and he got three new tennis balls to add to his collection, which always has him so excited he can barely contain himself.  That’s what you call a distraction.  At any rate, there’s the honest-to-goodness truth of his pick.  I can honestly say I hope he’s really, really wrong.

By the way, did you know tomatoes stain?  What’s up with that?  They seem so benign.  Unless you’re talking about that “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” movie, but that’s just stupid fiction.  Tomato stains on white t-shirts are not.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

Nice.  Erin Andrews reporting from Blacksburg on SportsCenter just now.  I don’t think I’ve been this pumped for a Thursday night game in awhile.  Possibly since the game some years back against the hurricane.  Not the Miami Hurricanes—the opponent was Texas A&M—but Hurricane Isabelle, I believe her name was.  The Battle of ‘Belle, ’03.  Looks like the weather could be similar tonight.  Not a good game to be attending sans-shirt.  Also worthy of looking forward to tonight, I get a second crack at asking Erin Andrews out.  I think she was close to accepting last year, the overalls could put it over the top.

In the bad news department, looks like Tyrod is doubtful.  Still don’t know how much of that is mis-or-lack-of-information from the coaches, but I’d think at this point if they’re saying it doesn’t look good, then it probably doesn’t look good.  On the other hand, if the offensive line and Sean Glennon play as effectively as they did against dook, I’m okay with him taking an extra week.  Bad weather won’t help, especially given our lack of a rushing attack this year and BC’s proclivity toward stopping any rushing attack, but anything is possible.  Should be a good game, and we get a chance to redeem ourselves after that embarrassment in Chestnut Hill last season.  That and shut BC’s coach up, Jeff whatever-his-last-name-is.  He shall, until further notice, be referred to in this forum as Jagoffzinski.  Because that’s what he is.  Honestly, I thought Tom O’Brien was unlikable.  Where does this guy get off?  I’d rather have the Steinbrenners decide my employment future than have to listen to that guy talk.

Almost 6 a.m. now.  I haven’t left yet because I’m still at work for another three hours or so.  What’s your excuse?  Suggsy didn’t make his selection this week.  What can I say, I was busy yesterday.  At any rate, this would have been a tough one to call so he probably avoided bringing it up on purpose.  It’s a tough matchup, though I have to admit thinking of this as a pairing of two top-10s is about on par with thinking there has been any Big East bout between two top-15 teams in the past couple of years.  Still, it is what it is, and ESPN has billed it as such, so there’s no excuse for Lane Stadium not to be rockin’ like it was for Miami in 2003.  Get out there early, stay fired up late, and don’t point at the two idiots wearing overalls with no shirts and Wendy’s wigs.
 

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Okay, it’s been long enough, time to cover last Thursday’s main event.  I can’t really comment on the rest of this past week’s games as I was out of town at a wedding in Annapolis and we only got to watch about an hour’s worth of the noon games at the bar before getting ready.  We did, however, have time to stop back into said bar after getting ready and do pre-ceremony Irish carbombs.  And I do have to say it was cool driving past Navy’s stadium on the way into town and seeing all the people out for that.  Disappointing though it may have been that my driver wouldn’t stop at the beer garden in the parking lot.

So, back to the Big East Suckfest of the Week.  Wow.  South Florida.  Good stuff.  Look, I know top ranked teams lose.  I know they have bad games.  Yada, yada, yada….blah, blah, blah…  hey hey, my my, Big East can never die, there’s more to the picture than meets the eye.  There’s really not though.  Here’s the thing: it seems a much more common occurrence in the Big East that a “top ranked” team falls to a bad one.  How many more times does it have to happen before people realize it’s not the poor teams playing well, but the “elite” ones really aren’t that good?  I was able to watch a good portion of the game, and aside from the hour during The Office, I did.  Rutgers gave South Florida every opportunity to win that game.  Two muffed punts deep in their own territory.  Key turnovers.  Trick plays.  That drive-killing hold late in the 4th.  Fact is all the breaks South Florida got are usually the kinds of things the underdog needs in order to beat a real #2 team.  Not the kinds of breaks a #2 gets yet still fails to win the game.  Hello?  You play... to win... the game.  That’s the great thing about sports.  Aah, nothing like a good old coach rant.  But now back to the lecture at hand.  Considering what idiots most of the college football commentators are, I suppose this is more a sign of how great Rutgers really is and not how bad South Florida and the Big East on the whole really are.  Maybe we should move Rutgers up into the top 10 within two weeks like we did with South Florida.  Clearly didn’t jump the gun on that one.  Most of what you’ve heard about South Florida to this point was about that vaunted defense.  Uhhhh, yeah.  Seems to me that even a halfway decent defense knows how to stop a one-dimensional offense.  He’s called Ray Rice.  Look into stopping him.  39 carries.  Hmm, wonder what they’re gonna do next?  Run it up the middle?  Even Stiney thinks these guys are predictable.  One bright spot for the Bulls—as I’ve said before I’m nothing if not fair—was Grothe.  That guy is legit.  Pretty good arm, and can move when he has to get out of trouble or run for a few yards.  That being said, Rutgers was doing about as good a job keeping containment as whoever is in charge of Britney Spears at the moment.  Any defense that knows how to stay home and keep him off the edge would negate more than half the good runs he had.

Alright, enough of that.  More rants, you say?  Check out this one we found last week.  Arguably two of the all-time top rants, masterfully edited together for your enjoyment.  In other news, Suggs was 0-2 this week, but I blame that on outside circumstances.  Apparently he picks backwards in Reston.  We’ll have to keep that in mind next time he makes selections out there.  He was also pretty pissed we asked him to pick the UVa/Maryland game, as those are two of his least favorite teams.  That and I think he still hasn’t forgiven me for making him try on his Halloween costume last week.  This year’s selection: Batman.  Not nearly as cool as the pimp costume last year, but by the look on his face, just as embarrassing.  Standby for his BC/VT prediction later today.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Well, I suppose it's fitting.  Suggs is "on the road" at the parents house, and VT is off this week so no game to pick for the Hokies.  But, since Suggs has nothing to do all day besides lay around and eat all my worldly possessions, he doesn't get weeks off.  In chosing games, we tried to come up with two that would resonate with VT fans, as well as have an impact on our season.  Obvious choices: our two main rivals UVa and Miami.  Since he's been out there since Wednesday and I forgot to pick the games by then, my mom had to perform the assistant duties this week.  So it is with a disclaimer (any picks Suggs made this week might be slightly skewed on account of abnormal circumstances) that we give you week three of Suggsy Picks'em:

FSU over visiting Miami and Maryland over visiting UVa.

Okay, admittedly he went with the homer picks, and both wins would help VT, plus throw in the X-factor of him being out of his usual pick surroundings....but this is the best he could do given the circumstances.  I should add he also apparently had a puzzled look on his face, but I think I've figured out why.  He doesn't understand why UVa and Maryland is at 8 p.m. on the deuce.  I wasn't there for the picks, but I'm sure in his infinite wisdom, he followed them up by going out back and taking a deuce to symbolize what he was talking about.  Oh, and speaking of deuces, he didn't eat the trash this week, so I guess that was his way of NOT picking South Florida to lose.  Gotta run now, but you can bet I'll be back to rant about that later.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

I can't believe I'm rooting for Rutgers.  I also can't believe South Florida has gotten the ball near Rutgers' 20 twice on muffed punts and is still losing.

Big East football really, really rubs.  And I'm not just saying that because I hate them.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

With tonight’s marquee matchup of Power Conference Big East’s power teams, let me be the first to say……..yawn.  In a rare move, the Big East is taking Friday night off and playing on a Thursday night.  No, wait, my mistake—standby for Louisville at UConn tomorrow night.  Tonight though, pits (or where matters of Big East are concerned, do we have to say Pitts?) 2006 Big East Flavor-of-the-Year Rutgers against 2007 Big East Flavor-of-the-Year South Florida.  Whatever.  Oh, and apparently per Craig James South Florida has requested that the media call them USF instead of South Florida.  Not to be redundant here but whatever.  I’ve got several thousand Vaaaa Tech’s that say “Good luck with all that.”  Ask Southern Cal.  Oh, I mean USC or the Men of Troy.  From here on out, you shall henceforth be Southern Florida.  Should I get lazy and use the USF moniker, rest assured I meant South Florida.  Which really means West Florida since you’re in freaking Tampa.  Seriously, what gives?  Anyone who knows anything about Florida knows Tampa is nowhere near southern Florida.  Pretty much due west of Orlando.  UCF is in Orlando.  The “C” stands for “Central.”  I guess University of Western Central Florida is too hard to write out.  Should have just named it some clever acronym, like D.I.N.G.B.A.T.S.

I realize the game is already underway now, but that’s what happens when you start writing at work then get into a one-hour conversation with the make-up artist while she’s waiting for her guest.  3-3 as I write.  You better not eff this up, New Jersey State.

Also, for those of you who were worried about that whole “food that’s a bigger pain to eat” thing I think we have a solution.  Blue crabs are more of a pain to eat.  Now, from a logistical standpoint, both present a challenge and are pretty much a nightmare anytime one is tasked with eating them.  Equal so far, but add in the crab factor of getting shell-cuts on your fingers and getting old bay in said cuts.  Then there’s the whole aspect of beers added in.  Obviously when one has a dozen crabs laid on newspaper in front of them, cold longnecks are a must.  But, with all the crab crap all over your fingers, having to do that beer-pick-up maneuver where you grasp the bottle neck in the crook of your thumb and index finger, well that pretty much seals it.  So, your winner, or loser depending on how you look at it, is crabs.  Talk about a double entendre.  At any rate, thanks to Suzanne for helping to clarify things, even though I think this puzzle required a bit longer and less-chickish explanation than being grossed out by “that mustard stuff.”  Besides, I think the mustard stuff adds to it.  But if someone tells me it’s crab deuce, I’m gonna vomit right now. 

Alright, I have to go watch Rutgers fail to keep containment on Groethe, or whatever the hell his name is.  Seriously, on that first TD, I’m pretty sure the Scarlett Pimpernel’s entire defensive front was outside the right hash.  Nice work. 10-3.  I’m off to grab a pomegranate out of the fridge.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

10-10 now

In a contest of foods that taste good but are a pain in the behind to eat, I wonder who would win between pomegranates and blue crabs?

In other news, looks like Redskins fans from the early 80s will get to see two familiar names starting at linebacker for the Hokies against BC.  We all saw the performance Donnie Warren's son put up against Duke, but now it seems Cam Martin may be out a week from Thursday as well, giving the starting nod to Russ Grimm's son Cody.  Two sons of Hogs puttin' in time at LB.  Granted, we'll no doubt miss Hall and Martin (assuming he can't go), but it could be worse--they could be backed up by sons of former Cowboys.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

When I got home from work at 10 a.m. Friday morning, an incident with Suggs had me uber-pissed.  Then, after Saturday’s games, I realized he wasn’t being a bad dog, but just trying to branch out and pick some more games.  To go back to that morning for a little context: I walk in around 9:45, just enough time to tie up the trash bag and run it out to the curb before the garbage men come by.  Instead, I see Suggs had different plans as he decided to not only knock over the trash can, but cover each individual stair leading to the basement and a good portion of the floor down there with the can’s former contents.  In my haste to still get the trash out on time, I didn’t take note of the individual pieces as I shoveled them back into the bag and ran it to the curb.  Within minutes, I realized there had been a peach pit in there, but didn’t see it when I was cleaning up.  After a call to the vet, we were shortly on our way to the emergency vet to be x-rayed.  They couldn’t see anything on the x-ray, and supposedly, “with a dog his size, we like to wait and see if it passes, anyway.”  So two pointless hours and an unnecessary $300 later, we were on our way back home for me to finally get breakfast and a nap, having been up since 2 a.m.

Where is this all leading, you might ask?  I think he’s trying to tell me he wants to pick more games.  Could be a stretch, but stay with me here.  The whole peach pit thing—he was (wisely I might add) picking Georgia to win, regardless of whether he actually ingested it or not.  I thought that was all, but the whole garbage tie in—clearly he was picking USF, as well.  Further, by having to go to the vet as a result of eating the USF…..I mean garbage, the vet ran up our bill to $300, much the way South Florida ran the score up on Central Florida.  So, as you can see, Suggsy is not 2-0 in his picks as I had previously thought, but after two weeks he’s 4-0.  Two overt wins and two crafty, almost subliminal wins.  In addition, since we’re off this weekend and he clearly wants to start picking more, we’re going to give him a shot at picking more ACC games.  Possibly some other important games, as well, but start slow.  Baby steps.  And, he’ll have to be a little more straight forward with his extra picks from now on, as he’s being crated until further notice.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

tgfoc@yahoo.com

So, I come home from the bar to see Suggs is watching the end of the San Jose St. @ Hawaii game.  This would be okay if A) Suggs wasn’t already on The List for eating the trash this morning thereby forcing me to take him to the emergency vet at 10:00 a.m. after being at work since 2, and B) when I last checked the score, there was like 5 minutes left and SJS was up by 14.  Seriously, there’s a lot of unexpected unbeatens left, but they’ve all gotten a lot of help.  Who gives up 14 points in the final five, much less an extra 7-0 in OT to lose the game at HOME?!!  Jeff Garcia is very disappointed.  Just another in a long line of patsy schedules this year that will either go undefeated or make waves until late in the season because they don’t play anybody until close to Thanksgiving.  Boise St. and Washington, the last two games and only ones that could trip up the uber-overrrated Colt Brennan and his Rainbow Warriors (Jeff Gordon can’t shake it, and you never will either, Hawaii) could be a challenge, but the point remains the same–easy road to 12-0 equals high rankings on the votes of idiots this year.  Look, being undefeated at the midpoint is all well and good, but fact is Hawaii rarely, if ever, actually plays anybody.  It’s the BYU syndrome.  Remember back in ‘01 when the Fightin’ Steve Youngs made waves because they were undefeated and “getting no respect”?  Then at a very respectable, albeit craptastic schedule-esque 12-0, Hawaii hung 72 on them?  Following that debacle, they proceeded to get worked by Louisville in their bowl game.  I realize I’m using Hawaii on both sides of the argument here, but the argument stands true–join up with big boy football, or shut up.  Which brings me to my next point–could everyone stop talking about/overrating the Big East teams?  Well, rather than next point, I’ll admit it’s somewhat of a sticking point but come on–South Florida and Cincy–seriously?  Not to mention a crappy WVU team that somehow crept back up to #8.  Look at the out of conference schedules of all eight teams the Big East Football Conference has now (a seat at the adults table will cost you at least 10 teams).  I see one legit team–Auburn.  Okay, USF beat Auburn.  At home.  Snuck up on them (ala WVU in the ‘06 Sugar Bowl), and at the same time Auburn is not that good.  Seriously though, an eight-team conference, and the best they can come up with is one game against Auburn.  They skate through that, and now the conference is legitimized because they won’t play anyone but each other from here on out.  We’ll talk about Jesse Palmer’s thoughts in another blog–that guy should stick to reality shows.  Whoever hired him is clearly the one who keeps Rachel Nichols and Lou Holtz employed.  But I digress as I often do....a few have UVa or Maryland on the skeds, which RUTSgers paid for and the third-leg of the juggernaut might pay for this weekend, undefeated UConn.

By now, you may be wondering where this beer-fueled rant is going, and rest assured I am, too.  Here’s my point–the top 15 still continues to be a mix of the legit and the non-deserving.  Had WVU started the season outside the top-10, would USF have jumped up from 18 to 6 after beating them?  Probably not.  Should a no-loss Big East team have any more right to the Nat’l Championship game than an undefeated mid-major?  No, considering the Big East is a mid-major with a BCS bid.  It’s all about the road to getting there, and the conference that Notre Dame shunned has no dog in that fight.  Let’s take a look:

1.    LSU: Any Hokie fan that argues against this ranking should shut their yap and remember 48-7. On the real, though, could anyone make a compelling argument they shouldn’t be a unanimous #1?  Despite the fact that they passed USC for #1 before the Reservoir Tips lost, anyone who picks against the Bayou Bengals here on out is nuts.
2.    Cal: Admittedly I have a good friend who is a Bears fan, but I remain impartial–Berkeley has quality wins over UT and Oregon to this point, and key tests against USC and at ASU and Washington will determine their fate (sounds rough, don’t it Big East powers?)
3.    Ohio St.: I’ll be the first to admit the Big 11 is not exactly up to snuff, this year or any of the past few.  That being said, I’m an ACC guy and we’re not either, so they get a fair shake here.  They beat Washington, but their only real test remaining is in the wine and cheese Big House (admitted to me by die-hard Wolverines).  Don’t count Illinois or Wisconsin as tough.  Either of those is like saying UConn or Cincinnati is a test.
4.    BC: Overrated.  Any of you Big East fans that might be reading this and think I’m being unfair, I’ll be the first to say the ACC has sucked the past two years as well.  Still, they haven’t been getting the undeserved attention the BE has, but now the Eagles decided to go 6-0.  Problem is this–paper tiger.  Not saying we’ll beat them in two weeks, but they will likely finish with at least two losses.
5.    USF: If you really have a doubt as to my thoughts on them, read past blogs
6.    Oklahoma: Stoops can always be counted on for one thing: whining.  Big Game Bob doesn’t realize that the Big XII really blows.  Probably as hard or harder than the Big East or the ACC.  Consider yourself lucky THAT you’re back up to #6 with a loss, and IF you beat Mizzou this weekend.  Home game you probably will, but a two-loss season is in the cards.  Not to mention the BXII Champeenship if you make it there.
7.    USC-East: The ol’ Ball Coach should concentrate less on horrible Under Armour commercials (yeeeeah, click clack) and more on games.  Really, though, he’s done a good job of getting South Carolina back to respectability.  I still agree with Corso that he’ll never win an SEC title there.
8.    WVU: See USF above.  Joke.
9.    Oregon: It’s hard to root against someone who has a duck as a mascot, especially when it looks so much like Donald that they’ve been sued by Disney.  Still, with three of their next four games @ Washington, vs. USC, and vs. ASU, it’ll be tough for them to come through that unscathed (tough conference schedule, you getting this yet USF?)
10.    USC: Some think they should have dropped more after losing to Stanford as Michigan did after the App. State loss; some think they dropped too far–whatever.  I think their real test is when they have Oregon, Cal, and ASU in a four-week span late in the season.
11.    Missouri: True test this weekend @ OU.  Nothing big before, nothing big after.  Big 12 Championship should determine a legitimate contender from the conference.  Then again, Oklahoma lost to Boise St. last year.  That’s a stain that’s hard to clean.
12.    VT: I’ve said all season we were overrated. Preseason, overrated.  After LSU at #18, overrated.  Now, overrated.  I maintain that a one-dimensional team doesn’t belong higher than 15.  Said it last year about WVU, and I stand by that this year for us.  Until our offense starts firing on all, or at least half of their cylinders, I won’t change my opinion.  And again, no reflection of talent, it’s all coaching.  Tyrod is a stud, and I think the personnel is there for the O-line.  Just need someone to properly coach them, which we haven’t had since before Stiney took on OC duties in addition to his OL coaching.
13.    Florida: A very likely case for why voters are non-thinking morons.  Then again, perhaps a case for the contrary.  Lost a tight battle to a sub-par Auburn team, but those two historically play close matches (nat’l champ Florida’s sole loss last year was the war eagle).  Then followed that with another tough-fought loss to everyone’s favorite LSU, yet dropped following that loss.  Many think after losing a game like that to a higher ranked team, demotion is not necessary, and in some cases a higher ranking might be worthy.  USF disagrees.
14.    Arizona State: Hasn’t proven really anything to date.  The next three games will speak volumes.  Gotta have a feeling the Sun Devils finish the season with no fewer than three losses (on a side note, having grown up with aunts that were ASU alumnae and therefore well acquainted with the Sun Devil–I used to have nightmares about that freaking mascot.  I promise this had no bearing on my decision though, nor did the fact that their former star defensive end shares his surname with my dog.  Suggsy is 100% a product of Hokie fans favorite son Lee Suggs, and 0% Terrell).
15.    Cincinnati: Do I really need to reiterate the situation on the Big East?  I thought not.  No one on the schedule at all.  I’ve got a few buddies who are Grand Valley State University grads, and they sing the praises of Brian Kelly.  Still, call me when you do something in 1-A.  GVSU is D-II.  Beating Rutgers this year is no big feat, as they’ve settled back into the category of “others receiving votes.”  Which is really a step up for them.

That took way longer than I thought it would, and to be honest the point I was trying to make at the beginning of this might have turned into a completely different point altogether, or no point at all.  At any rate, all you over achieving program fans, a message to you: never feel entitled to anything.  WVU has learned that lesson the hard way for like three or four years straight when they thought they were a shoe-in for the national championship game and then proceeded to lose three games.  While you may get to 7-0, 8-0, 9-0 or even higher (we’ve been there), reality will catch up with you eventually.  Be careful what you wish for.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  Suggs is complaining and has to run outside stat.  I’ll just be happy if he didn’t eat that peach pit the vet was searching for this morning.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com 

The ultimate in style points for this week has to go to officials at The U.  Apparently basketball attendance isn't up to their standards, so they are requesting that the students wear beach attire to go along with their beach themed student section, complete with hot tub and bikini models.  They get an A for effort, but if you have to resort to this, really, I think your problems might go deeper than anything a few chicks in bikinis can fix.  But it'll be fun to see them try.  Plus, we'd gladly trade athletic directors as they are actually encouraging lewdness, and ours won't even let us do the Stick It In cheer.  Stupid Weaver.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Suggs showed a real lack of enthusiasm picking this week’s game.  As much as he loves chasing tennis balls, he also likes being relevant and, well, picking this game really serves no purpose.  That being said, we still set up for the newfangled ritual of the VT and Opponent tennis balls and the basement stairs.  He’d also like it noted that he picked VT correctly last week, while his roommate had no faith in the Hokies to go into Death Valley Jr. and come out with a W.  So, on to the picking.  Instead of inspecting the tennis balls and waiting for them to be tossed down the stairs, during inspection Suggs took the dook ball and proceeded to take it out back behind the woodshed.  All the more odd considering we don’t have a woodshed, but point taken Suggsy.  With the defense and special teams firing on all cylinders for the first time this season, there’s really no reason this should be a contest.  Game, set, match….he’s going back to bed….wake him for BC.  Even with no Vince, and still no offensive line (seriously, shouldn’t any respectable 1-A program have coaching that can fix this problem by mid-season?  Don’t blame the players, it’s not their fault….cough cough GEORGE cough cough), this game should be out of reach by halftime.

Early nominee for bonehead move of the week goes to Wanny for trying for six and a Picksburgh (does Primanti Brothers deliver to Arlington?) win instead of a FG and third overtime against Navy last night.  Then, I suppose he’s really just keeping balance in the world by contributing to the suck that is the Big East Football Conference.  Not to be confused with the Big East Basketball Conference.  Because really, every major 1-A conference should separate their football and basketball, especially when a 1-5 Notre Dame team is too good to join up.

Today’s random thought of the early morning: if Neneh Cherry and Senator Larry Craig had an illegitimate child, would it have a wide buffalo stance?

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Well, it looks like in his first week of picking the game, Suggs came up with a huge win. He’s already told me that he’s not too pumped about picking this week’s game, but he’ll reluctantly do it anyway. Standby for that in the next day or so. I’ll leave the real game analysis for the Author to go over, but let me just say it’s nice for our defense and special teams to finally have that breakout game we’ve been waiting on. And then some. Now all they have to do is drum up some kind of offense, stat. Especially with All-Universe LB Vince Hall out 4-6 weeks, we’re gonna need some sort of offensive production sooner or later. Fortunately, All-Universe LB Xavier Adibi is still in the lineup, but one All-Universe LB only gets you so far. If the team can maintain like this past weekend, the only problem game could be BC. However, I was in school in the fall of ’98 and therefore know defense and special teams can only do so much. The offense will likely be called upon more than once over the last half of the season to win a game, hopefully by then they’re up to it.
 
Outside of Hokie Nation this past weekend, USC went down to 41-point dog Stanford, Notre Dame finally snuck up on someone and won a game, LSU and Florida had a real ……blah blah blah. Everyone has heard about those games ad nauseam by now. I’d rather talk about something important, like how truly horrible the Big East is. Bottom line is this: this time last year three undefeateds were making waves and everyone was talking about these three “powers” leading the Big East. Fast forward a year to this week and midway through the season, there are again three undefeated Big East teams. One catch—not one of those three teams is the same as the ones from last year, and two of the darlings of ’06 are struggling to this point. It’s more than a little puzzling how the voters don’t notice there’s a reason Cincinnati and Connecticut are still undefeated—that conference is a joke. Sure, USF beat Auburn and WVU, but Auburn is not the #17 team their ranking would have implied at the time of that game (I don’t care about the win over UF, they always play them tough), and WVU is CLEARLY not worthy of the #5 ranking they had at the time of their loss to the Bulls, or even the #8 they’ve snuck back into following multiple losses by better teams. In case you don’t know anything about South Florida, here’s a brief history: began 1-AA football play in 1997. Moved to 1-A in 2001. Was ranked for the first time this year. That last one sound familiar? A certain program from New Jersey found the same success last year at the hands of the almighty Big East. Look, I’m not saying South Florida hasn’t done good things this year, I’m just saying do any of the voters really think they’re a top-10 team? A directional school that’s been playing football for 10 years, 1-a for six, and hails from an overrated conference? It puzzles me more than if those Coors Light commercials with the NFL coach press conferences are funny or not (current line of thinking is that they are, in fact, funny). Would an undefeated team from C-USA, the MAC, WAC, etc. etc. ever be ranked that high? I should think not. So why give that much credit to this mid-major? All further support for not starting the polls until the season is well underway. Based on last year, WVU, Rutgers and Louisville were all way higher than they should have been pre-season (well, actually ranked at all for either Rutgers or L’ville was way higher than they should have been). Now South Florida has a credible “top five” win (hold your laughter for the end, please), and Cincy has everyone all over them because they are undefeated after having knocked off perennial (if perennial now means one-year) power New Jersey State. Not to mention, for all intents and purposes they should have lost to FAU this past weekend. Final seconds of the game FAU should have had the ball on a turnover on USF’s 5-yardline, but those great Big East officials (remember how unbiased they are from the magic season of ’03?) called a penalty no one else saw and gave the ball back to the Bulls. Then, instead of kneeling on it with 29 seconds left and the lead, Leavitt ran the ball in for another touchdown. Jacking the score up against a Sun Belt team, nice work. That’s something every BCS conference leader should aspire to. Hopefully Leavitt won’t make the same mistake Schiano did and pass over the opportunity to move up the food chain after his golden season. Ask Greg how that’s turned out this year.
 
OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

I suppose it’s a little late in the week to be starting a game prediction feature, but what can I say?  It was an idea born just 30 minutes ago while waiting through baseball highlights in the final 10 minutes leading up to Game Day.  So, given Suggsy’s affinity for tennis balls, I took two old practice balls out of my bag, wrote VT on one and Clemson on the other (ingenious, I know).  I also have to note his unusual patience while I was standing before him writing on two tennis balls, as usually as soon as you pick a tennis ball up he goes mental.  It's almost as though he knew the importance of what was happening.  I proceeded to show him both the Clemson and VT ball, let him sniff both of them to get his olfactory thoughts together, then threw both of them down the basement stairs.  At this point, I realized one major flaw in my plan that should have been obvious–where two tennis balls are concerned, Suggs always picks up both of them.  That being the case, he does always show clear bias toward one ball: the one he picks up first.  So, we went for a second attempt, he went flying down the stairs, picked up both tennis balls and ran upstairs straight to his bed to analyze his pick.  Or he might have just been going up there to chew on the tennis ball, I’m not sure.  At any rate, following a brief struggle to pry ball #2 from him (it is, after all, not easy to remove a tennis ball from an 80-lb. tennis ball crazed lab), it was revealed to be the Clemson ball, meaning he chose VT ball #1, so he’s picking the Hokies to win the game.  We tried to work out a food-based system whereby he picks the score, but all that wound up with is me being frustrated and him getting essentially two breakfasts this morning.  As much as he likes tennis balls, I think he preferred the score-picking.

So, there you have it, in the first edition of Suggsy Picks’em, he picks VT over Clemson.  Stay tuned next week for the Duke pick, where he could either get an easy win or lose all credibility.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

As though it wasn’t enough reason to write something given that today is a date synonymous with truckers, cops, and CB users everywhere cutting their syllables in half to voice the affirmative, I can’t believe I forgot to mention this event in my post yesterday.  Long story short, UNC’s deep snapper owes me a football.  Or, it could be the long snapper.  If there is a difference, I don’t know which one he was, just know he wasn’t on the field very much, but was out there every time they had a field goal kick or punt.  At any rate, his name is Murphy, he’s #61, and he promised me a football at the end of the game.  Newly shorn Connor Barth (barely a shade of the surfer-looking kicker that only two seasons ago Robyak kept calling Jeff Spicoli) had already turned me down for a ball.  The punter, whatever his name was, ignored me.  Countless trainers or whoever the guys in khaki shorts and UNC polos are......nada.  I’m pretty sure I even threatened that ram mascot thing when he refused, insomuch as pointing at my eyes then pointing at him is a threat.  His aim would probably be off with those furry mitts on and someone else would wind up with my ball, anyway.  Which brings up the interesting point, what the hell is a Tarheel, and why is their mascot a ram?  I didn’t check the bottom of his feet, but the only way a ram representing Tarheels would even remotely make sense is if he’s been walking in tar.  Or in the very least he has really dirty feet.  But I digress.....upon asking about the 20th person for an official UNC practice ball, sometime in the 3rd quarter this Murphy character--if that is his real name--nodded yes, pointed to a ball in the net and said, “at the end of the game.”  Everyone around me said there was no way he would throw one up, but I swore up and down I would walk out of lane that day with a UNC ball.  Sure enough, time ran out and as I looked from the jumbotron to where Murphy had been only seconds earlier, all I saw was #61 jogging toward the middle of the field.  No ball, no explanation, no goodbye, nothing.  Well, Murphy, I watch “My Name is Earl,” and I know karma is a bitch.  When you get the yips and start snapping balls over the holder and/or punter’s head for no reason, section 5 will know there’s a reason.  You can put me on your list. #273: Promised O’Connell a football and didn’t follow through with said promise.  Until then, I’ll be waiting patiently for my UNC practice ball.  That’s a 10-4.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

Okay, they really don't even get a direct mention in here, but for lack of a better title there you go.  Besides, it's not like it's a false statement.  Enough about them....after seeing the VT team this weekend, I’m pretty sure I’d be very happy with an 8-4 season.  It seems at this point 9-3 is virtually unattainable, and 7-5 is an extremely frightening, entirely-too-real possibility.  One positive is at least Tyrod is getting a lot of experience in adversity, as he’ll never play behind a worse offensive line than this one.  I mean, how could he?  So far we’ve played one good opponent and a whole lotta bad, and the only consistent thing with the line is how they’ve consistently let everyone through.  And it doesn’t get any better from here.  This weekend scares the hell out of me.  Dook is the only sure win remaining.  BC and GT back to back on Thursday nights--I’d be surprised if we win either.  FSU/Miami/UVa to finish out--could go 3-0 in that stretch, could go 0-3.  I’d be more than okay with 2-1.

Now, granted, all this could change in a heartbeat if the defense starts playing like themselves and the offense sees even marginal improvement.  I really hope that happens, I’m just not too hopeful after seeing an absolutely horrible Tarheel team come into Blacksburg this past Saturday and give us a good run.  Okay, enough about our problems, just been a little stressed this week that the team seems along the path to an ‘03-esque underachieving year.

How about that Big East?  To be honest, they really don’t even deserve a mention anymore, as they’re sorting themselves out to be the bottom-of-the-barrel type conference we’ve known they are all along.  South Florida seems to be the flavor of the month, but I have faith they’ll be put in queue just like the rest always are.  There’s an outside chance they could run the table since they have no one left on their schedule, but at least one of those teams will get them.  I still don’t see how a team goes from #18 to #6 just because they beat a #5 team that in reality wasn’t even a top-10 team to begin with, but whatever.  Any group of voters that call themselves professionals who would transpose #1 and #2 in a week where both won are clearly idiots, anyway.

Which brings me to my next point.  It’s been talked about for years now, time to do it: the polls really shouldn’t start until mid-season.  Take a look at the polls this week and take a look at preseason polls.  Note the differences, then tell yourselves that under this new system, the polls wouldn’t even start until after THIS weekend.  There’s really no reason or rationale under which preseason polling makes sense, except that it gives the sports pundits more to talk about in the pre-and-early season.  Tell you what, ESPN, just throw on another couple hours of poker during the week and that ought to more than cover the difference until October.

A few side notes–you fellow NASCAR fans no doubt have heard about Dario Franchitti coming over to Nextel Cup full-time next year.  How great will it be to see Ashley Judd at the races every week?  Good stuff.  From the hot side of racing to the business side, Nationwide will replace Busch as the sponsor of the NASCAR Busch series next year.  Or, I suppose henceforth the Nationwide Busch Series.  D'OH....I mean the NASCAR Nationwide Series.  First they get rid of the Winston Cup and replace it with cell phones, and just when I get used to saying Nextel they go and get an insurance company to sponsor the Cup’s younger brother.  If I cared about the Busch Series, I’d probably be more pissed about that, but it still sucks.  Never get rid of beer sponsors (Junior, you listening?).  And finally, if the writers of “House” are reading this, and on the off chance you’re writing episode-by-episode this season, please keep Olivia Wilde as one of Dr. House’s new assistants.  She stole our hearts in her brief role on “The OC,” and even more so as Jenny on the cut-short-in-its-prime “The Black Donnellys.”  She deserves another shot.  Oh, and you can keep that guy from “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle,” as well.  Anyone who rides a cheetah through the woods at 60 m.p.h. while on an adventure to get some cheeseburgers is good enough to work for House.

OC
tgfoc@yahoo.com

tgfoc@yahoo.com

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Being a game time decision to make the trip down for Ohio, man am I glad I did.  After just about everyone backed out last-minute, but then I guess you never expect a huge tailgate for a game like Ohio.

The real reason I was finally swayed into making the trip definitely did NOT disappoint.  The Tyrod Taylor era has begun, and I don’t think it’s too early to say he’s the best thing we’ve ever had under center.  Okay, we were playing Ohio, and it’s only one game in, so maybe it is too early.  But it’s really not.  The kid is incredible.  Several times throughout the game we all just had to look around at each other in awe remembering he’s a true freshman.  Poise, leadership, decision-making, play-making…all way ahead of his age, and it was clearly the right decision to burn his redshirt.  One thing I didn’t like to see was when Glennon came on the jumbotron during that stupid Jim Weaver induced Hokies Respect video, the fans booed.  I really think there’s no need for that, but at the same time, I guess it was a reaction to his reaction to being benched, and not just a reaction to his play.  From that perspective, he had to have seen it coming.  You don’t just complain and throw everyone else under the bus, then threaten to transfer and not expect some sort of ramifications.

In other news from the weekend, big ups to Eddie Royal for not getting annoyed with us talking to him for a minute at TOTS, and especially after Whitesell bugged him for like an hour.  Also, if anyone knows if it’s possible to eat three bratwursts and a jalapeno in 20 seconds, let me know.  I think I might have gotten in over my head on this bet, and I still have to convince Herrington that I didn’t say four.  Speaking of stupid food feats, this show Bizarre Foods is on the Travel Channel right now.  It’s basically like an entire hour of the eating portion of Fear Factor, but this guy isn’t playing for $50,000.  He should sign a sponsorship deal with Pepto.  This is just dumb, but it beats coverage of The O.J. Simpson Arrest: Take Two.

OC

tgfoc@yahoo.com

Since it seems Weaver is intent on turning our home games into events with all the atmosphere of a chess match, I thought I'd give him some suggestions on other things he can ban.  I mean, why roll these things out over the course of several seasons?  If you're going to go all Romper Room on us, do it all at once.

First the whole not-booing-the-other-team thing.  There's got to be more room for improvement in the Hokies Respect campaign.  How about instead of making as much noise as possible when we're on defense, we also start making noise when our offense is on the field?  You know, give it a nice Fox News "fair and balanced" approach.  Or, better yet, just have the fans be quiet and sit down the whole game?  That "Most Intimidating College Football Stadiums" list isn't really anything a respectable program would want a part of, anyway.  As much as you'd want to cut out noise, though, when the team scores you're not going to be able to control people's excitement, and inevitably they'll cheer.  So, in an effort to help our visitors feel included in the fun, why don’t we cheer when they score, too?  After all, they worked for it, they deserve a nice “attaboy,” whether they’re at home or not.

Second, if we’re going to get rid of “Stick it In,” there are several other areas with room for moral improvement.  Number one being those cheerleader uniforms.  The midriffs and short skirts might give the young men in the audience naughty thoughts.  Full-length baggy pants and some nice loose sweaters would be adequate.  Think M.C. Hammer meets Dr. Huxtable….if both were Hokie fans.  Next up, we should cease to use terms that contain double entendres.  Football.  Pressbox.  Tight end.  How about: American Rules Rugby, Media Area Atop the West Side, and Supplemental Offensive Lineman/Receiver?  Let me know if you can dig up any more and I’ll provide you the necessary euphemisms, Jim…..Jimmy Boy……Jimmy Cracked Corn and I Don’t Care……...Lastly, let’s talk concession stand.  Has there ever been a more phallic food than the hot dog?  Well, perhaps the corn dog, but that’s really just an extension of the hot dog….no pun intended.  And I suppose the cucumber and/or zucchini.  But I digress, we don’t want these kids going for refreshments and coming back to their seats with all kinds of ideas.  Who knows where that could lead.

I’m sure there are more areas for improvement, but these are just a preliminary path to changing the game in Lane as it currently exists in all of it’s lewd, salacious shame.  If we all work hard together, we can make our beloved stadium a place where opposing teams feel encouraged and welcome, and parents can rest assured that their kids won’t hear or see things much more benign than those they can find on TV and the internets everyday.

OC

Okay, I know it’s been months and months since I’ve written, and I blame that on Suzanne for not hounding me more about it.  Seems like just a month or so ago I was walking solo back to the hotel from the Georgia Dome after a crushing defeat at the hands of the Bulldogs.  Should you ever have the opportunity to do the same, may I suggest you don’t do like I did--a detour down Atlanta’s Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd is really, really out of the way.

Of note this off-season, the celebutantes reign at the top of pop culture is nearing an end as one-by-one they self-destruct before our eyes.  Hopefully this means the days of Paris’ dog taking a dump making the six o’clock news are over.  In other news, my email campaign to ESPN failed to get Rachel Nichols canned; repeated attempts to have the “Who’s Now” segment stopped went unanswered as the segment was allowed to finish it’s run as the most pointless segment in the history of television (the other nine of the top-10 spots are currently occupied by Today Show segments); and I still haven’t had any success in my now-going-on-five-year effort to have Kellogg’s change the plural of Pop Tarts to Pop Tart.  It’ll happen……..

The season to this point has been rather forgettable, but you have to kind of feel that even though the record says 1-1, we’re starting a 10-game season at 0-0 this Saturday.  A new sheriff is in town (sheriff being starting QB), and the next three games set up well to start a do-over.  Now don’t get me wrong, I like Sean Glennon and have always been rooting for him to get it done, but the fact is he just hasn’t.  Is part of that the line?  Sure.  Give any quarterback D-linemen in his grill the whole game and he’s not going to have a pleasant day.  Even so, it just feels like this change is necessary for the program to move forward now instead of two years from now.  With the talk of transfer, whatever Glennon moves on to, I wish him well.  Especially since then the picture I got with him on Bourbon Street will be worth something someday.

I suppose that’s about all for now.  Oh, other than the fact that Weaver has proven once again he’s a complete DB.  For those not familiar with the term, I’m not calling him a defensive back.  Should you need clarification, feel free to email tgfoc@yahoo.com (hot chicks who need tickets to Ohio are encouraged to email, as well).  Does he really think he can get rid of the “stick it in” chant?  We brought it with us to College Station in ’02, Weaver, and we can bring it in Lane, with or without the band.  Listen up, as I’m only going to say this once…….or a lot more if the situation requires such: the real fans are the ones standing the entire game and yelling so much they lose their voice in early September and never fully regain it until mid-December, only to lose it again at the bowl game.  You may get the bulk of your money from the high-dollar types who like a nice and friendly clean family atmosphere that even Mickey Mouse would be proud to bring Minnie and the Mouselettes to, but that’s not college football.  Booing and chanting and just about everything else you’ve banned (or tried to) are a part of the game.  Just keep your ears open this Saturday every time Tyrod takes us inside the 20, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

OC

Given UVa's lack of anything worthwhile this year, and our less-than-spectacular season, not a whole lot of thoughts going into tomorrow's CRAPPY NOON matchup, other than that we have to win.  However, as we get ready to take on a team most of us despise, if for no other reason than they’re a hated instate rival, I have to think back to last week and realize this rivalry is nothing compared to Ohio St./Michigan.  I know, thanks for the update Captain Obvious, but it goes beyond the historical significance.  If you think you hate UVa fans and all things wahoo, you’ve seen nothing.  I thought I had disdain for the cavs, but man, those guys go all-out.  I happen to have worked with many Wolverine fans (most--actually almost ALL--of which didn’t even go to UM), and since I have the biggest TV and no spouse, they all raided my house last Saturday for the game.  We decided to kick off the festivities around 2:45 with a power hour (I convinced them to opt for the power hour over a quick 30-club in order to carry the momentum into kickoff for their team—amateurs).  We also happen to work with another guy who is an OSU fan.  He wasn’t present at my house, but I thought it would be funny to come downstairs for the power hour in a Buckeyes shirt I had borrowed from him.  One of them immediately started cursing me to the point I thought he was going to try to throw me out of my own house, and one of the others jumped up and before I knew it, had the shirt ripped about in half.  So ended that joke, I guess they didn’t get it.  Throughout the game, they proceeded to befoul the shirt, ripping it more, wrapping dog biscuits and Kong toys in there so Suggs attacked it, and finally burning it on the back patio.  The remnants go nicely with the leaves I have as-yet still not cleared out of there.

The most entertaining event took place on Monday following the game, though, in the lunchroom back here at work.  MSNBC’s David Shuster—the only UM fan at my house who actually holds a degree from the university—had written a somewhat contemptuous blog the week before, during which he stated that if UM lost the game, he’d literally print out his blog and eat his own words:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15750829/

True to his word and to his credit, he did so, as you can see by the video here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15590613/#061120a

Oh, and the cameraman/Buckeye fan shooting the whole thing is the owner of the shirt that was destroyed, so that’s got to be some vindication.  As if the win wasn’t enough, and even tho Shuster didn’t have anything to do with the destruction of said garment.  We can all only hope that someday UVa/VT has even half the significance OSU/UM does.  I’d just like to state at this time that I’ll never promise to eat any of my blogs, no matter what prediction I make.  And if for some reason I do, I’d opt for buffalo wing sauce and blue cheese dressing as a topping. 

OC

Way to blow it, BC.  All you had to do was go into Miamuh and beat a team in dire straits to at least give yourself a chance at the ACC championship game.  Or the Dr. Pepper Bowl, as I think they’re now calling it.  No such luck, as the eagles once again turned what could have been a semi-great season into just above-average.  Not much to talk about with this one, other than Tom O’Brien always manages to totally dork up a season, and BC fans are still toolboxes.  I suppose it’s worth noting that at least they’re not jackholes like eer fans, terps, or pittsbowg panthows fans, but they are Supertoolboxes, no denying that.  I know there is much ado made on this website about the author’s animosity toward wearing orange as a VT fan (a sentiment not shared by yours truly, BTW), but at least orange is one of our colors.  What’s up with the Superfan shirts?  Your colors are burgundy and gold (and I suppose brown, if you include the eagle’s feathers in their logo), and you wear yellow shirts?  I thought BC was a good school?  Your run-of-the-mill Superfan should be smart.  Smart enough to know that you’re supposed to wear some semblance of school colors to a game.  By your rationale, I should have a shirt done up for the game tomorrow that says SuperHokie, and I’ll get it printed up on a green shirt with purple writing.  Maybe it’s the yellow in the eagle’s beak they’re going for.  Regardless, at least the shirts are BC gear.  I saw way too much redsawx apparel in the crowd.  It’s football season, Bostonians.  And you’re at a football game.  Act like it.

And anyone else see that Remington razor commercial they showed a couple times during the game?  This commercial told me two things: A) Cindy Crawford is still really, really hot, and B) Remington needs a new ad agency.  Commercial was about as dumb as wearing someone else’s colors to your own football game.  Cindy, Erin Andrews still hasn’t contacted me so…….call me!

Also, during the game I couldn’t help but notice that one of BC’s coaches REALLY looks like Tom Selleck.  I thought it was him for a second there.  I don’t think he’s a BC alum, tho.  Or a football coach.  Unfortunately for the viewing public, they did have BC alum and architect of their last moment of glory worth showing, Doug Flutie, in the booth.  Seeing him in those ABC and ESPN halftime reports throughout this season, my impression was he was a horrible analyst.  Seeing him in the booth with Fowler and Herbie, that impression was reinforced, and he added in a heaping holiday portion of BC bias.  I’ve never been a huge fan of sportswriters or analysts as a whole (there are a few minor exceptions), but it seems recently that ESPN has just been phoning it in and hiring any yabo with either a journalism degree or a background in sports.  Perhaps it’s all some grand scheme to get us all to think that Corso is a genius.  Well, it’s working, ESPN/ABC/Disney/etc./etc.etc.  I now think Corso is one of the best CFB analysts on your network, and from time to time actually sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.  Nice work.  What have you done?

Hope everyone had a good National Hokie Day, and I'll see you all in the Burg (except Suzanne and Bronwyn).

OC

So, I’ve had more than one inquiry since Saturday as to why I haven’t posted anything in response to the complete unraveling of New Big East power Rutgers.  One reason could be I just got an Xbox 360 and have started a dynasty on NCAA 07.  Another reason is that I don’t gloat.  Don’t do it to friends that are fans of opposing teams when VT beats them, don’t do it when even obnoxious friends teams lose, and I’m not going to do it when I’ve been proven right about something that was glaringly obvious from the get-go on this ’06 season (even though I think Colin Cowherd is the only analyst that saw it).

Unfortunately, we’ll probably have to go through this same song and dance every season for at least the foreseeable future.  As long as the Big East is a two or three-team league, and as long as the rest of the college football world remains in denial that it is now a mid-major conference.

Which brings me to my next point—what should be the procedure for matching up BCS games?  Here’s the quagmire: you have the good, deserving teams that will get into the BCS games, then you’ll have the crappy ones that have no business being there (the BE, Notre Dame, and this year’s addition of the mid-major bid, until further noticed reserved for Boise St.).  In the interest of ratings, do they separate the good teams from the bad and have some good match ups?  Or, do they expose the teams that don’t belong and put them head to head with the legit teams?  I hope it’s the latter.  Otherwise, you wind up with a situation like that of two years ago, where a completely undeserving Pitt team got throttled by a I-guess-you-could-say-deserving Utah squad, and one of them comes away saying they won a BCS bowl.  In that case, bragging rights belonged to the Utah squad that would have stood little chance against a real top-10 team.  Oh, well, fortunately such decisions aren’t up to me, so I can just sit here and complain about them.

Oh, and to the chick who emailed in about my use of "sucktitude," thank you for your feedback.  And yes, "craptacular," works well for slightly different circumstances, as does the similar "craptastic."

Don't feel like writing much right now, just wanted to remind the Big East that they suck.  Third Thursday BE game in as many weeks.  Third lousy football game I have to suffer through.  You know what would be better than this?

ANYTHING!!

Battle of two of the worst, most backwoods, classless fanbases in the country.  And, apparently, two of the worst defenses, too.

OC

would someone please tell Rutgers' kicker that you can't hot dog it when you missed the first kick?  Now, I know, the dude is a good kicker.  And deserves credit for helping the team win.  But when you dork a 33-yarder, only to get a reprieve because of an irrelevant offsides call, and subsequently make the follow-up 28 yard kick, don't immediately turn and point at the overhead camera.  Kickers aren't supposed to talk, anyway, didn't anyone tell you?  Much less when you almost blew it on the first go-round.

And I know I've been over this in the past, but what's with the fans holding up #1s again?  The only game that warrants that from here out, assuming they are both undefeated, is the OSU/Michigan game.  Then the NC game after that.  No one else.  Sure, Buttgers fans might have a slightly more credible case than others, since they are undefeated and I'm sure some of their non-football-intelligent fans actually believe they would stand a shot against any of the top SEC or Big 10 teams.  But still, you're not #1, so just shut up.  I know you're new to this whole college football scene, but don't get ahead of yourselves.  Maybe hold up a three in front of the one next time.  Might be closer to the truth, Rutgers fan.

OC

So, I decided to forego my better judgment and watch the game, which thankfully was edited due to time constraints.  There’s only so much mediocre football one can take, which is why no one watches MAC and C-USA games.  Oh, but wait, this was Big East football, not/NOT mid-major….my mistake.

First off, congrats to Rutgers.  You emerge from the triad of what was just eight days ago the big three Big East undefeated power programs.  You now stand alone atop college football with the other unbeatens Ohio State, Michigan, and Boise St.  Tho, my thinking is it’s somewhere closer to Boise St., if not behind them.  I mean, come on now.  Isn’t everyone, besides obviously the ESPN commentators who are all losing credibility by the minute, convinced by now?  The Big East brand of football is just not high-quality.  If it was jeans, it would be labeled Jordache, and it would grace the shelves of Big K.  First win for Rutgers against a ranked opponent since 1988.  That’s big for them, and that IS legit.  Louisville is, in fact, a top-25 team.  But that’s about as far as I’m willing to go with the cardinals.  I don’t buy into Herbie talking about how they have possibly the highest-power offense in the country.

Now Louisville and WVU have been knocked off in successive weeks.  Question is, will the pollsters start to see the Big East for what it is, or continue just looking at the W-L column, thus padding the stats for BE teams beating “Top 10” opponents?  Here’s the thing—in order to compete at the top level of college football, you have to have a complete team.  You have to be able to run and pass on offense, and do a decent job of stopping both on defense.  If you don’t, you can have a decent team, but you’ll lose games (note the plural) if you play any kind of schedule in any good conference.  Of these three that “legitimize” the BE this year, Rutgers is the only one with any kind of defense.  Louisville is the only one with any kind of passing game.  And of the aspects any of the three do excel at, I’m really not even sure which—if any—of them are the genuine article, because none has faced a really tough team.  What I am sure of is after watching the incredibly hyped meetings of such an average triumvirate the past two Thursdays, it’s clear looking at the top 15 which of these things just don’t belong.

I should have watched Jack LaLanne.

OC

...at work at 3:20 in the morning, ESPN is re-airing last night's historic Big Least battle for conference supremacy.  After watching the first five minutes of this mediocre football slugfest, I'm consumed by one thought: that infomercial on CNBC right now for Jack LaLanne's power juicer has got to be more entertaining than this.  Think I'll change it.  Besides, Erin can't hear me through the TV, anyway.

OC

that WVU, Maryland, and Pittsburgh had horrible, classless fans.  I think OSU could hang with the worst of them.

http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2006/11/dont-just-take-our-word-for-it.html

This one is actually kind of funny, if it wasn't so disturbing:

http://www.deadschembechlers.com/

Also, if anyone's seen an offensive coordinator, ours is still missing.  Going on five or six years now.  You'd think someone would start looking.

OC

This has gotten absurd. Now the GameDay crew wastes five minutes off the top of the show to discuss how great Louisville is, the Big East gets no respect, blah blah blah. I’ve hereby decided I’m dedicating myself to learning all of college football on why the Big East conference sucks, since apparently Tony Kornheiser is the only on-air employee of ESPN that will even question whether or not they’re legit (not that those two on PTI know anything about CFB, but at least he called the defense of this past Thursday into question). And bear in mind, I’m doing this even tho it will usurp my efforts to get Erin Andrews to go out with me, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice. Seriously, tho, if anyone knows her, hook a brother up.

One common argument is that they have a very powerful offense. Sure, a decent offense with a great QB will look stellar against awful defenses, which is what the Big East is full of. Watch the Rutgers game closely. They actually don’t have a horrible defense, in theory, even tho it’s hard to tell since they haven’t been tested, either. Another point is that while their defense may be bad, the offense can make up for it. No, it can’t. You can’t get thru a legitimate schedule with bad defense, no matter how great your offense is. Ask Texas Tech how many Big 12 championships they’ve won of late, much less how many B12 championship games they’ve even reached in the past 10 years. Herbstreit said this morning that even tho people think L’ville has a bad defense, they did a pretty good job against one of the top offenses in the country. Really? Come on, now, Herbie. We like and respect you. Don’t change that. Look at it objectively, and not from the standpoint of someone who has clearly been told to tout the Big Weak. First off, WVU’s offense is one dimensional, and any team with even decent speed and a knowledge of how to stop the run would shut them down completely (see: most of the SEC, top of the Big 10, Texas, USC, and probably even a few teams in the ACC--weak tho we may be this year). Second, I don’t know how you call allowing 34 points doing a "pretty good job," against an offense. This game was what it was. An offensive display at the sake of two inept defenses. So by winning, does that mean Louisville shut down the eers? Interesting take. Myself, I don’t see a team that allows 34 points, 504 yards, 6.4 yards per rush, and over 10 yards per reception as doing a good job. And just when I thought your buddy Corso was going to actually go against the company line and call the cards out, he says for one game (i.e.–the national championship, if they get there), he’d put Louisville up against anyone. Not, mind you, over the course of an SEC or Big 10 season, but for one game. There’s so much wrong with this simple statement, but the glaringly obvious: sure, for one game, you could put just about anyone up against just about anyone and just about anything COULD happen. And sometimes does. But does saying they’d have a shot--if only ONE shot--really justify putting them in the game? Isn’t the NC game about putting the theoretical two best teams in the country up against each other? Lemme help you out–yes. It’s not about giving some underdog their "one shot."

Bottom line is, all three of the top BE teams this year would be middle of the pack or worse in any other BCS conference, except maybe the PAC 10 (still wouldn’t be past 3^rd or 4^th there, either). College football is by far my favorite sport, but if not for Tony Stewart missing the chase by 16 points this year, I think I’d have to forego everything but Hokie games in favor of NASCAR, at least for the remainder of the season. Fortunately, ESPN, he missed the chase, so you continue to have my attention. Just stop this crap of promoting a non-factor. And if I hear anything about Rutgers anymore, I think I’m gonna honk.

OC

and emailing about it all day, I really don't see how anyone could argue that either of those teams that played last night are top-10 teams.  To be top-10, one usually has SOME semblance of a defense.  1008 yards of offense in a game is just ludicrous.  Not to be confused with Ludacris, because he's actually cool.  Like Whitesell said, they should have played the game on blue carpet.  Definitely WAC-esque.  And certainly just plain WAC.

All that being said, this Rutgers bidness is just absurd.  Undefeated or not, does ANYONE realistically think they're a top 20 program, much less top 15, or likely higher after this weekend?  I don't know what's more inappropriate: New Jersey State's ranking, or this week's Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode.  One thing is certain--both make me laugh.

OC

....if anyone knows Erin Andrews, could they please pass along that I'm the one who asked her out last week from section 5, and the invitation is on the table.  Even tho I couldn't quite hear what she said, I'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of: "Call me."

OC

If you haven't had a good laugh yet this morning, do yourself a favor and check out the article on washingtonpost.com about how UVa is turning their season around.  They act like rattling off two wins in a row against ACC powerhouses UNC and NC State mean this team is on the rebound and ready to win out to go to a bowl game.  In case you missed the rest of the season, their other two wins were against dook and a barely squeaked out overtime win over everyone's favorite juggernaut Wyoming.  Listen, I know our results in comparison to our schedule have been less than stellar thus far this season, but come on waholes.  Even in this year where they're both struggling, FSU is still FSU and Miami is still Miami.  They still have the same athletes, and at this point all they have to play for is pride.  I know it's a concept you're unfamiliar with, but outside of harlottesville, just making it to a bowl is not enough.  There were too many ridiculous quotes and comments from the article to reference here, without pretty much copying and pasting the entire thing, but it does make for some good morning comedy, if you get the chance to read it.

stupid wahoos

OC

I just wrote this whole huge thing about how stupid UVa fans are, algroh is still crappy, and that VT football is going to be alright (despite the "problems" at BC).  But the website timed out, so all you kids get is the brief synopsis above.  I will say, tho, I went to the Bama/Ole Miss game in Tuscaloosa last weekend.  If you've never been--go, it's a great place to see CFB.  And their third-to-fourth quarter transition tradition blows ours away--Sweet Home Alabama over the PA.  Not that I ever did the Hokie Pokie, but I REALLY am never going to do it now.  I think I'll bring my iPod in and listen to some Skynyrd instead.  ROLL TIDE ROLL!!

OC

that I ranted for two full paragraphs about cardinals and didn't even realize our bowl opponent is the Cardinals.  They suck, too.  But at least they got the plural thing right.

In other news, I just saw possibly the coolest piece of Hokie memorabilia ever, with the exception of those life-sized Hokie Bird statues they sell.  Maroonhelmet.com is selling a leather VT sofa.  I won't consider myself a true Hokie merchandise aficionado until I possess one of those.  Keeping Suggs from sleeping on it when I'm gone would be another matter.

OC

 . . . . the basketball team pulled off an impressive come-from-behind victory this past Saturday over the Stanford Cardinal.  Old news by now, I know, even if you suck and didn't stay up until 2:30 a.m. to see the end result.  Regardless, it does beg one important question . . . what the hell is the Stanford Cardinal?  Obviously, I know what A cardinal is.  It is, after all, our state bird.  Not to mention the mascot of two professional sports teams.  Possibly three, but I don't know if there's one in the NHL.  I only follow sports that matter.  But those teams are the Cardinal-S.  Plural.  Further, their mascot is, in point of fact, a cardinal.  Capital idea, boys.  Just do a Google search of the Arizona Cardinals, St. Louis Cardinals, Denny Green, Kurt Warner, Stan Musial, Ozzie Smith, Mark McGwire, steroid scandal, etc. etc., to see for yourselves.

Enter Stanford.  Team name: CardinaL.  Mascot: Christmas tree.  Now, I admittedly don't know much about Stanford.  But I do know they have a reputation as a very good academic school.  However, it would seem even a WVU student could figure out Stanford + Cardinal = Christmas tree is fuzzy math, at best.  The whole thing makes about as much sense as Ashlee Simpson's career.

OC

The worst part of a 10-hour road trip is driving back.  Throw in a loss and, needless to say, it's not helped out any.  I think it was somewhere just south of Fayetteville, NC that the four of us were able to laugh again.  Sure, there were jokes here and there, but it took more than half of the 700 miles from Jacksonville to finally put the issue to rest and somewhat restore the mood from the ride down Thursday night.

Through all the thoughts of the game, one thought just popped into my head.  Here we are, two years into a conference that we fought tooth and nail to get into, after it looked like we were through and doomed to a life of mediocrity in the Big East.  Instead we got in, won the damn thing last year, and played for the first championship this year.  It should be enough just to have a seat at the head table, rather than looking at a bleak future like our hillbilly cousins to the west, shouldn't it?  Well, to a normal person, perhaps.  But talk to any Hokie Nation outsider in the Northern Virginia area, and they'll tell you, Hokies are anything BUT normal.  It's not enough.  Bad turnovers, penalties, jackass Florida State fans, and getting jobbed by the refs aside, accepting a defeat because it was nice just to be invited to the dance is not a practice any top program employs.  That being said, moving on, leaving the last one in Jacksonville, and taking care of business the next time out is.  G.K. Chesterton said, "How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win."  That's the difference between '03 and '04.  Now it's time for '05 to write the final chapter.  These guys have proven they can persevere.  All that remains is one more rebound, to go back to Jacksonville and show our old conference how things are done in the new one.

OC

Okay, so this has nothing to do with algroh, UVa, or wahooery in general.  Just wanted to throw that out there.  It actually has to do with the game at hand.  I really don't know how to judge this one.  On one hand, you've got a Florida State team that drastically underachieved this year.  Won their biggest game of the year to open the season, then lost three down the stretch that they shouldn't have, and a fourth to their most hated rival (not to mention a coach in his first year of big-boy football--Blowing Green and Utah don't count).  A team that despite all they've failed to accomplish, can salvage their season by beating us and going to the BCS, so they still have everything to play for.  On the other hand, despite all that is riding on this game, when I look at FSU, I just see a team already defeated.  Again, a team that underachieved this year, and just doesn't have anything left.  Should look familiar.  We saw it in '03.  Altho even with their troubles, I doubt this 'noles team would go to the wire against Trample.

At any rate, looking forward to being in a car on 95S by 8 p.m. tonight.  It's been awhile since I've visited Pedro at South of the Border.  I hope he still sells fireworks. 

Nice work, WVU.  With your Thanksgiving day thrashing of NCAA football juggernaut Pitt "Don't Call Us Pitt, Call Us Pittsburgh -- No, Wait, Call Us Pitt Again" Sburgh, you clinch at least a share of the MAC title.  It has to be nice to be in the drivers seat down the stretch, controlling your own destiny to take the crown of a league that got waxed by Utah in the BCS last year.  At least this should be the last of all the animosity towards VT over the whole ACC thing.  After all, if us, Miami, and BC hadn't left, you probably never would have won a conference championship.  Now, here you sit, all you have to do is defeat South Florida to take the C-USA title.  Happy times in organtown.

OC

So algroh has decided the hoos won't look at video of the throttling they received from the Hokies last weekend.  Nice strategy, idiot.  Now, I can certainly understand wanting to move on after a humiliating loss.  That is, after all, what motivated us to layeth the smacketh downeth on harlottesville U to begin with.  I can't, however, understand how NOT looking back at what you did wrong is supposed to help.  That is, other than the two glaringly obvious things UVa did wrong, the first of which was signing Fanny-pack Sweatshirt Man to a $1.7M/yr. multi-year contract extention, the second of which was not just forfeiting before the game Saturday.  Even tho that is, in essence, what they did.  alison, being the scholar that you no doubt are as a result of having graduated from UVa, I'm sure you're aware of the oft cited George Santayana quote, "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it."  Well, you've not only been repeating history season after season you've been back in hooville, but in fact been regressing.  Actually, at this rate, by the end of your contract when you're up to over $2 million a year, the hoos should be spending about a million bucks a win on you.  It might beHOOve you to learn to take criticism, take a seminar on how to interact with media and fans, and while you're at it, maybe start following through on some of the hand-written promises delivered to recruits.  Otherwise, they just might begin to see the truth; that you're a punchline.

In other, and equally as irrelevant news, Michelle Wie has accrued another $1.5 million this weekend to play in the Casio World Open in Japan.  Can you imagine how much she'll start making if she ever accomplishes something?

OC

I love bowl season.  Just when it starts to set in that the season is almost over, and it's been a few weeks since you've seen a game, all of a sudden there's almost two weeks worth of games, no matter how banal most of them are, especially in the first few days.  That being said, I have to say it's gotten out of hand when we're not even in December, and 6-4 Navy has already received a bid.  Not only that, but it's to the -- get this -- The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.  Not only THAT, but the bowl has given them a contingency of being guaranteed another berth in the next two years assuming they're bowl elligible either season.  Is that really necessary?  I mean, when your only other choice is holding out for the possibility of the Liberty or Motor City bowl, I don't think it's imperative that you lock in the most recent Bowl-du-jour for longer than the game itself will likely exist.

Also, did anyone know that weird chick from the Reese's t-shirt commercial won American Idol?  Apparently, as I was just informed by a co-worker, she actually won A.I. first.  When is that stupid show going to give up?  It's become about as pointless as a doggie-bag for Reuben Studdard.

OC

Bang up job, waholes.  algroh is a douche.  That is all.

can I say douche on here?

OC

Oh, wait, I guess you can.

So, this is something I've never understood.  I don't really look at the message board on here, but just checked it for some reason.  And quickly found out why I don't.  There's a few postings from Miami idiots saying how we were overrated.  Now, obviously, U morons won.  Not only that, but wholloped us.  What I don't understand is the whole overrated thing.  I've never liked the "OVER-RATED" chant at games, one because it's classless, and, quite frankly, something U fans would do (not to mention WVU, MD, Pitt, etc. . . . but I digress), and two, because if you think about it, it belittles what YOUR team has accomplished.  Sure, ostensibly, Miami layed the smackdown on us and we were WAY overmatched.  But, by any rational thought, one would realized that we just didn't show up that night, and they showed up in a BIG way.  I mean, come on.  UNC was making these guys look bad at halftime of their matchup, you REALLY think that was the best effort Tech could put up?  Truth is, they were the better team -- on November 5th.  As a result, they'll likely go to the ACC championship game as the Coastal representative, and deservedly so.  But to try and drive home the point that we were overrated?  That just makes it seem like Miami didn't accomplish that much this year in Blacksburg.  And, on the other side of the coin, the one idiot that says they were way overrated last year, nice excuse, jackass.  Some things I've come to learn about Miami fans:

1) They're classless.  Just like WVU and WVU jr. a.k.a. MD.  But they've earned it, so you can't get on them as bad about it.

2) Most people who actually attended the school are an exception to rule #1.  In fact, the vast majority of alumni couldn't give a rat's ass about the athletics.  And most "fans," are bandwagon townies.  Inasmuch as you could call a Miami native a "townie."  It's not exactly Blacksburg.

3) Much in the mold of the worthless throngs of hoos down in hooville, they're fairweather.  We are only graced with their presence on account of the win.  When they're losing, they're about as prevalent as Boy Scouts of America supporting a NAMBLA rally.

Get over it, move on, and start talking about how Texas is overrated because they haven't beaten anybody.  Texas Tech.  Now THERE'S an overrated squad.

OC

Two-parter: A) don't ever put lighter fluid on Match Light charcoal, and B) don't ever eat anything cooked by Whitesell using Match Light charcoal, especially if he uses lighter fluid on said charcoal.  I'm not exactly sure how drunk you have to be to get through a burger and a half before you realize the meat tastes like it was marinated in kerosene and you're about to vomit.  I do, however, know what is very entertaining when you ARE that drunk: watching Herrington and Whitesell argue back and forth about the grill for about an hour.  To start with, Whitesell getting on Herrington's case for not having a gas grill, "like normal people."  Then getting mad because the charcoal starter isn't getting the coals ready fast enough, and he thinks Herrington is trying to smoke the burgers, and consequently they won't be done until about 10 a.m.  Then finally taking matters into his own hands with the lighter fluid.  On a bright note, at least he didn't parade a thong around for the second day in a row.

OC

this weekend was not a total loss, at least for the Tech Bookstore!  That's right, it was a personal record for sales in one shot by the Jaquays wallet.  Apparently, my season ticket donation was not enough!  I gave heartily to probably my greatest weakness.  Oh well, at least I was given a 3/8 in. pin as recognition for my monetary outburst of affection.  The pin features the likeness of a VT helmet facing a Canes helmet with the date under it.  Now, I can relive the horror of saturday night for years to come!   wwoooohhhoooooooo!!!  They could have just kicked me in the nuts!!! 

There should be milk cartons in the greater Blacksburg/Christiansburg area this week with the Hokies' heart on it.  Who knows, maybe they found it by now, but it certainly wasn't around on Saturday night.  I just allowed myself to watch ESPN for the first time since pregame at the tailgate.  I figured since it's the wee hours of Monday morning, there is enough else to talk about without going over a college football recap.  But, of course, sometime in the four o'clock hour, they had to rerun GameDay Final.  So, I had to turn it off.  It was shortly thereafter, I received my daily quote from thinkexist.com.  Seemed at least a little pertinent here:

"The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven." -John Milton

I suppose he's right, but at the same time, there's really no making a heaven out of the hell that was Lane Stadium Saturday night.  How exactly does a team look past Miami?  I can understand and accept losing to a team like that.  They are, after all, Miami.  If we only drop one game all season and it's to them, that can't be considered all bad.  What I can't accept is how it happened.  It's one thing to get outplayed, it's quite another thing to not play at all.  A bad night by one or two positions can possibly be weathered, even when Miami is hitting on all cylinders like they were Saturday.  But when all 11 players on the field at any given time wearing Orange and Maroon have their heads elsewhere (mired in the BCS debacle, one can only presume?), you get results like we got.  I suppose it's just as well, because if all the BCmess talk, and looking ahead prematurely to Jacksonville was getting to them already, a loss was inevitable, and I'd rather have it come against a respectable program like the Canes than a joke like the stupid hoos.  One can only hope they can refocus now, go down to hooville and wreck shop.  If not, we could be looking at '02/'03 all over again, giving UNC an early Christmas gift of bowl eligibility, as well.

Congratulations, Miami.  You came into town and withstood about the least fight we possibly could have put up.  I was wrong, you were the ones that rolled.  Apparently our players can't always respond well to one of the best atmospheres in college football.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go bribe a pharmacist for some Prozac.

OC

Sports feed coming in now at work.  They just did the Miamuh/VT preview.  Some interesting quotes from Miamuh personnel.

Kyle Wright: something to the effect of, "big time players step up in situations like this."  That's wright, Kyle.  Let us know how you feel about that after Saturday night, when Mr. Vick puts on a clinic illustrating your point, and you're thinking about it in surgery to have Darryl Tapp's shoe removed from your large intestine.

Scary Coker: " . . . no, we aren't afraid of Virginia Tech.  Certainly you respect them, but we're not afraid of them."  Oh, be afraid, Scary Grandpa, be veeeeery afraid.  You beat us twice with Butchie's players.  Since then?  Nada.  And of course you remember the last time you were at Lane.  Probably a hell of a poker player you are, to be able to utter those words and almost pull it off.  Wait, that sounded like freaking Yoda.  You are probably a hell of a poker player.  Much better that was.  Anyway, now we're one section over, Scary.  Section five, beeyotch.  Right up in yo' grill.  We like you, so might go easy on you, but that Quarrantine Hill, Winston Cup, and some of the others are gettin' an earful.  You must do or do not.  There is no try.

OC

What better time to hit the blog page back up than Miami weekend?  My lack of participation in recent weeks was due to waning interest after Jaquays chose to delete my blogs.

So, Larry "Scary Grandpa" Coker and his band of merry jackasses come rolling into town again.  It's hard to hate Coker, even tho he looks like a scary grandpa.  The guy is, at least ostensibly, a good guy, and Beamer has said as much about him, so it must be true.  Definitely not the classless jerk that Jimmy Johnson was.  Unfortunately, the program still suffers from the lingering effects of ol' helmet hair.  No matter what, they just can't stop talking.  Message to Miami players: confidence is a good thing.  People can dig confidence.  Cockiness suxx.  No one likes cockiness, with the exception of your unsophisticated and boorish fans.  And the whole "U" thing?  Yeah, no one thinks that's cool but U.

I know it was covered in the column, but this bulletin board material U are providing is priceless.  Beamer probably doesn't even have to come up with a pregame speech, he can just read all of Ur quotes from the past week.  Let's see, U've played some very close games with some very not good opponents this year, most recently struggling early against a mediocre UNC squad at HOME!!  Now there's several of U running Ur mouths to the media about Blacksburg, our players, fans, etc. etc.  This is about on par with Tom Cruise telling any interviewer who would listen that he knows more than all the psychologists in the world, and Brooke Shields should have done calisthenics and taken some Flintstone Chewables instead of anti-depressants.  I'm not saying Saturday's game is a lock, but let me put this as plainly as I can . . . . . . WE OWN U.

U can go whine to the media all day long, pretend like this impending ass-stompin' doesn't bother U, but all I hear is fear.  U acknowledge the Lane atmosphere a week before the game.  At that point, we're already in Ur heads.  Game over.  U might as well throw one of Ur players off a roof.

OC a.k.a. UC (just for a day or twU)

This post brought to you by virtue of SDsurfDiva's complaint:

Well, it's just over 24 hours to game time (cue the ticking clock, Jack Bauer).  The following takes place between 7 p.m. and 7:45 p.m. . . . . . tomorrow night.  We all wait impatiently through a day of work, then fire up the bus and it's up to College Park for four hours of prime tailgating!!  Or as prime as tailgating gets in College Park.  My guess is the scene will be vastly improved by the throngs of Hokies descending on Byrd and it's surrounding lots.

In order to make sure this is mentioned before I forget . . . . GEORGE MICHAEL IS AN IDIOT.  It has been evident that the local-sportscaster-who-shares-name-with-singer-Georgie -- as well as Washington Post -- are not Hokie fans for quite some time.  In a "preview" of the game, he continually referred to us as West Virginia (which he has done before-gotta think it's on purpose), and went on to say it shoud be a "good game."  I regret to inform you and the other terp-huggers, George, but no, it shouldn't!  Look at the two teams!!  Yeah, yeah, "that's why they play the game," right?  But looking at it on paper, no way this should be anything resembling a "good game."  I know, many are saying this is a classic trap game.  That Maryland has the components to, given the right conditions, play with us.  It's just not true.  Fact is, their lines are drastically overmatched on both sides of the ball.  Their three-headed rushing attack that has been racking up yards of late is less than impressive.  This just in . . . .we're not Wake, UVa, or Temple (that's right, UVa, you still suck, too).  Defensively, as long as we can limit Vernon Davis, they're done.  Offensively, no caveat, they're done.  Enough said.  They just can't match up.  As for it being an away game in a "hostile" environment, don't make Marcus laugh.  A) this "environment" remains to be validated, B) my guess is we'll be at least 25% of the crowd, and C) even if it IS hostile, career day for MV2.  Regardless of the outcome, one thing is practically a guarantee: if somehow the terps win, front page for the Post the next day.  Hokies win, buried in three-pages deep in the sports section.  They have gotten slightly better since we've been in the ACC, but George Michael is still an idiot.

At any rate, looking forward to a bus full of 15 or so idiots cartin' it up to C.P. for what promises to be a great time.  Anytime an away game is less than an hour away, that's a plus.  Having to deal with DC traffic the WHOLE way to a game instead of for just the first 30/40 miles of 66, NOT a plus.  But made easier by the fact that I'm not driving.

OC

come on man . . . its for jump started the portliest of turtles' heart when it stops from the burden of 400 lbs.  I'll bet testie caries one in his shell just in case the big fella goes down. 

I apologize for the inappropriate use of sophisticated EMS terminology! 

The Washington Post actually gave us subtle props today!  They stated "The terps look to improve on their performance in last year's 55-6 loss to the Hokies.  This year, they hope only to lose by 20 pts.  Baby steps, people, baby steps".  That's nice considering we barely make the top 10 in area football programs discussed in the post.  Ballou H.S. gets more press than we do and they can do is buusssst capppsss!! 

Another thought, for a free ticket to the Maryland game, I have applied for a position where I would be required stand directly next to Fridge where ever he goes while I carry an A.E.D. that has been preconnected to is overweight chest!!  The BIG ONE could be any day now!! 

 . . . still at work on a Saturday . . . . still bored . . . . just got done watching BC almost lose one to Wake Forest at home.  It's not that fact which got my attention; no shocker there, BC is horrible.  It's the fact that as they scanned the crowd after the Eagles stopped Wake on what would be the second to last play of the game (screen right with 20 seconds to go on your own 40--GREAT playcalling, by the way), a number of fans held up their index fingers, as though to say they're number one.  Now, this is downright idiotic.  No, BC fans, you're NOT #1.  Quite the contrary, you just almost lost to a team that's 2-5.  You're #14.  You're not even #1 in the conference.  Not even #1 in your division (get used to it).  I guess you are #1 in Boston, unless you look beyond intercollegiate athletics, in which case you're a distant to the Pats, Sawx, Bruins, Celtics, and some dude named Chuck who won Vendor of the Year at Fenway.  Oh, I've got it.  You're #1 in wearing yellow shirts.  Bang up job, Superfan.

I don't mean to single out BC, I'd have to say every fanbase does it.  I've even seen Hokies do it.  And we've never been #1.  Of course, at the '99 Sugar Bowl, we had a right to do it.  Just voicing our opinions that we were #1, and all would be settled within a few days.  Peter Warrick then gave an emphatic-yet-nonverbal no-you're-not.  Point taken, Peter.  Auburn fans could have done it last year in New Orleans.  Again, their opinion, still as-yet unsettled.  My point, if I have one, is there are MANY things you can do when presented with the challenge of a camera in your face and the red light comes on.  As someone with my share of ESPN appearances, I'd have to say that if you MUST stick up your index finger (note I said index, we don't need people pulling a Marcus--well deserved tho that gesture to the 'eers no doubt was), tilt your hand forward and point it directly AT the camera.  This doesn't give any presumptuous indications about your program, and has no bearing on the fact that they're bad.  Further, it makes a statement.  That statement is, "I'm a shot-caller, and I just pointed at you."

All that being said, BC, we look forward to pummeling you . . . I mean hosting you in Blacksburg on October 27.  The reason the stands are full?  That's called a sellout.  Go to a Sawx game sometime to witness one closer to home.  And don't sweat the beating you take.  After all, we're #1.

OC

This has gotten ridiculous.  It's out of control.  How could anyone even PRETEND to think the Big East deserves an automatic bowl bid?  As if Pitt getting worked by Utah in the Fiesta last year wasn't enough.  I mean, come on, BE supporters, REALLY?  Going down 35-7 to a team who, I'm sorry, but really shouldn't have been there either, that's not an aberration.  And Pitt only got there because it won the seemingly all-member (save for Temple) involving struggle of futility that eventually crowned a Big East "Champion."

Now, the BE Game of the YEAR, by all accounts, is being played out today.  #19 Louisville visits WVU and hopes to avoid having some of the Morgantown thrift store's best sectionals burned at their expense.  Whaaahappened?  GOTY= an unranked vs. an almost-unranked?  I thought bringing Louisville in was supposed to save the league?  Then this "National Power," goes and gets beaten by fellow newbie USF.  Oops.  Perhaps they should've picked the U of F school with the C in the middle.  They probably wouldn't have upset the Cards.  Now USF and UConn are two of the conference frontrunners for BCS.  TAKE THE BID AWAY, NCAA!!  And apologies to The Provost, but UConn is not good.

Isn't it nice to be in a conference where we are likely to have many games a year featuring two top-15 teams, not to mention a couple featuring top-10s?  I think if I was in a conference where the GOTY pitted #19 against an unranked, I'd give up and admit we bite.  For more entertainment at the expense of our former conference (who never wanted us anyway), check out the many meltdowns on the Big East message boards: lt;LINK REMOVED>

Only one week off from the Hokies and look what I've been reduced to.  That, and being forced to work on a Saturday produced this rant.  In other news, can anyone explain to me what in the hell Big & Rich are talking about?!  In case I need to clarify:

And if you want a little bang in your ying yang
If you want a little zing in your zang zang
If you want a little ching in your chang chang come along come along
Yeah we’re coming to your city.

I'm at a loss.  Anyone?

OC

 . . . from the midway point of the morning shift.

-If the cash value of a coupon is 1/20th of a cent, could I take 2000 coupons to a bank and get a buck?

-We have AA batteries, and we have AAA batteries, then it jumps to C and D.  What happened to single-A?  And B, for that matter?  B gets hosed the most.

-Had Pepsi come out before Coke, they'd undoubtedly be the best-seller.  And Coke, in turn, would be the choice of a new generation.

-I wonder how close Notre Dame came to having their mascot be a hunchback?

-A hypothetical: Ralph Friedgen, Rick Majerus, and Andy Reid all go to dinner.  Whoever picks up that tab would get SCREWED!

So, as if there isn't enough to worry about, now we've got the bird flu.  Or chicken flu.  Or avian flu.  Or Asian flu, part two.  Or the Asian bird avian chicken flu, whatever they're calling it.  35,000+ dead from an earthquake in the Middle East.  Our favorite bowl destination (and surrounding areas) still in shambles from hurricanes.  The threat of terrorism all around.  Now I have to worry about my three-piece extra-crispy meal?!  But before I get ahead of myself . . .

First off, let me thank The Author for the opportunity for the three of us to vent in our own words, as I hope I speak for the Provost and Jaquays, as well (four if you count Fear Jaquays, but the most I've seen of him recently is his stocking at the annual Christmas party).  Though, the thought does occur given the inane nature of our past email threads, allowing the Provost and myself access to such a forum could prove catastrophic, but I promise to try and keep my rantings about how worthless Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are to an aboslute minimum.  But I digress . . .

A casual glance at the twerps message boards will reveal they're already planning their October 20th post-victory riots.  For whatever reason, be it they think we're looking past them (realistic fans) or be it they think they actually have a snowball's chance of matching up with us (typical delusional MD fans), they think they have a shot.  And, for that matter, so do a good number of Hokie fans.  I, for one, do not.  Granted, for the sixth time in seven seasons, we're 6-0, moreover, the first time since '03, which you should all remember well.  Eight days from now, we're heading into a weeknight away game in a (supposed) hostile environment.  An environment rife with classless couch-burners.  But this is not the '03 team.  It's not the '03 'eer team we're facing, either, for that matter.  Regardless of opponent, this VT squad knows better.  No way Frankie drops one to a coach who couldn't even walk to the game if his golf cart got a flat tire.  By the way, anyone notice both chickens and turtles can carry salmonella?  Maybe this flu thing is coming from turtles.  UMD should get Testudo checked before next Thursday.  Tho, a sick mascot might be a worthwhile excuse.  In the meantime, I'll be at KFC if you need me.

OC

This was something I put together last night to put a couple of loud mouth Neutered Dumb fans in these parts (C-ville), who decided they were going to go on and on about how tough NDs schedule was this year, and how great ND was, regardless of what happens with USC this weekend.  I guess with Poo-V-A losing again this week they had to pick another team to rally behind.   

Anyway, I thought I'd pass it along in case any of you are facing the same sort of harassment at home, work, dry cleaners, daycare or wherever this evil lurks, as you never know where they will show up.  Use it wisely and you too can eradicate this virus from your life once and for all.  Well, at least for this week anyway. 
 
Dear ND Fan,
 
Unfortunately, when past performance, green tinted glasses and personal bias aren't used as factors in the rankings, your beloved Puking Irish just don't stack up.

ND Opponents - Current Rank and (Record)
Pitt - 90 (2-4)
Mich - 34 (3-3)
Mich St - 19 (4-1)
Wash - 87 (1-4)
Purdue - 39 (2-3)
USC - 1 (5-0)
BYU - 88 (2-3)
Tenn - 17 (3-2)
Navy - 77 (2-2)
Syracuse - 63 (1-4)
Stanford - 74 (2-2)
 
Average Rank = 53
Total Record = 27- 28
Teams at or Below .500 = 8
Current Top 30 Teams Beaten = 0
 
VT Opponents - Current Rank and (Record)
NCSU - 27 (2-2)
Duke - 97 (1-5)
Ohio - 89 (2-3)
GT - 28 (3-2)
WVU - 29 (5-1)
Marshall - 99 (2-3)
MD - 30 (4-2)
BC - 14 (5-1)
Miami - 11 (5-1)
VA - 40 (3-2)
UNC - 45 (2-3)
 
Average Rank = 46
Total Record = 34-25
Teams at or Below .500 = 5
Current Top 30 Teams Beaten = 3
 
Some addt'l evidence (as if it is even necessary)..............
http://teamrankings.com/ncf/
http://www.colleyrankings.com/
http://www.masseyratings.com/cf/compare.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/sagarin/fbt05.htm 
 
Enjoy your Lucky Charms and the remainder of your cupcake schedule!

Love always,
The Provost
 
 
PS - For the lady on Hokie Hotline who is concerned about the conduct of our fans, "boo-ing" the opposing team when they come onto the field does not equate to poor sportsmanship or lack of "Hokie Respect".  If you think it does, then how do you feel about yelling at the top of your lungs when the opposing team is trying to run a freaking play?  Or getting excited when the other team fumbles?  Or waving your hands as hard and fast as you can in order to distract a field goal kicker?  If you think any of this is inappropriate, you should try following a different sport.  Might we suggest tennis, golf or UVa football.  All great sports, with a lot of etiquette involved.