Tailgate Fever people are just like you. We are real people, with real jobs, and real feelings. We just mask them with liquor and orange and maroon. Plus, feelings confuse us. Like when Miami wins. Well, that's confusing. We understand that helps the conference, blah, blah, blah, but who wants to root for Miami? We hate Miami.

We went to Tech. Most of us even graduated. We love Andre Davis, but we love Ashley Lee and Mickey Fitzgerald, too (all of them wore #88). Our favorite RB is Cyrus Lawrence, but he is no match for Lee Suggs. We were those kids dressed up in Michael Vick jerseys playing pick-up games behind the scoreboard. We still try to join those games, but they say we are "too big." We are still pissed at Bill Dooley for getting us put on probation. We remember when Bruce Smith sued the NCAA so he would be able to play in the Independence Bowl (the one against Air Force). We are keenly aware that the NCAA is still out to get us and punishes our basketball team with poor seeds in the tournament as a result. We think Frank Beamer is the greatest coach in the nation. We once believed with all of our heart that Frank Beamer should be fired. We do not think it is a coincidence that blood is Chicago Maroon. We know that the 1993 Independence Bowl was actually the greatest game ever. We still haven't watched the 4th quarter of the Sugar Bowl. We despise Cincinnati and Miami of Ohio. We used to hate Temple. Then we loved Temple. We now hate Temple again. Our feelings towards N.C. State are ambivalent. We rather like Oregon, and we think UVA is a bunch of sissies. Mostly, we're fans…just like you.